Switch It On!

Ch 23. I'm Just A Lonely Loser In My Heart

Got a fan recently :) haha that's so big I know.

Soon the break is over :( School is coming soon and I can't wait for the summerbreak! It's only 5 weeks until that arrives! Not that bad right? :)

- Cellinda

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"You're so distant lately." Mia schreeched. She was writing on her bench and made those puppyeyes.

That's true. I've hung out so much with Kevin because of all the weird things happening. Well, of course I haven't hung with him after the almost-rape-but-I-kicked-his-ass incident. Devon has always been protecting me since that happened to me, even if I handled Kevin perfectly there. But I just don't know if I had done the same as I did if Devon wasn't there.

"Sorry Mia!" I replied and made a sad expression. Mia is the one I wanted the thirdmode to be like. But that's only the personality. Sometimes she can be a girl that is stupid and dense(Though not as dense as Devon) but sometimes she sees right through me like as if I'm a window or something. She knew something was up between me, Devon and Kevin.

"Kevin hasn't been here for a while, has he...?" she pointed out with a suspicious tone. I couldn't ignore that name as if it was nothing special at all. My reaction was big and she even laughed when I spilled my water, and put my elbow into my potatoemash.

"Wow." she smiled. "Something is going on between you, I see." She drank out of her soda, proud over pushing out that reaction of me, assuming that something like Kevin and I are togheter.

"N-No!" I tried convincing her put it was useless.

"Sweetheart, don't go try and deny it. You've been skipping class to go on dates with that guy." Hell, I sometimes wish that Mia was a bit more stupid. Mia is one experienced woman afterall. She have dated hundreds of guys and apparentely, no one is good enough for her. That's actually true because all the guys she has dated are douche bags.

"I swear, Mia. It's nothing between us. Well, at least now there isn't anything." Her eyes got big.

"He blew you?! No one can blew you, Chantelle!" I shook my head. I can't tell her.

"It's a different story." I want to tell her so badly but I don't want to. This will lead to my situation of my switches.

"Tell me."

I got nervous of the tense atmosphere. I never believed that this kind of atmosphere existed between Mia and I. We were always laughing togheter or talking about guys. I looked down, afraid of facing Mia. I tell her everything. Except of the switched but she's not asking of the switches now. It's about Kevin. But my switches does hang togheter with him since he knows, and has a switch himself.

"I... can't."

That felt like an eternity. That phrase that had hurt her.

It had repeated in my head, echoing hundreds of times, making me feel guilitier everytime it echoed.

"Since Devon came... It's like we've grown apart." She lifted her head. And I noticed her eyes, full of tears.

"You're always so distant!" she screamed, not even caring of our surroundings.

"M-Mia...!" I tried calming her down.

"You can't even tell me things! We always told each other about eveything!" I tried calming her again without results. "Everything!" she repeated. She spred her arms.

I stayed quiet. That's not like my thirdmode, to be quiet.

"You're not my best friend anymore."

And so, she left.

¤¤¤

I was frozen. And I couldn't believe that even some fake friends of mine tried to talk to me, and become my new best friend - the replacement of Mia. No one can replace that girl.

I loved Mia. She could just take a look at my face and know if something was wrong while everyone else didn't know and kept on smiling, forcing me to smile when I didn't want to.

"Shut up Kimberly! I know want you want!" I shouted and left.

I stomped through the hallway, making big noises from my heels and waking even more attention when everyone saw how my mood was. Until I bumped into that guy.

"Why are you mad?" Devon asked. It was like I heard the tick-sound when my switch button switched into the one mode.

"This will never work!" I snapped, with tears flowing down my cheeks whiel hitting Devons chest. "Never!" I cried, hitting him even more. He knew that I felt flustered and let me pour out all my anger on him.

"What happened?" he asked when I stopped. I buried my face into his chest, all sored up because I hit it so much.

"I wish I didn't have these switches. They ruin my life." He let me continue.

"I lost my best friend because of them."

He suddenly hugged me. I felt so many different emotion I couldn't explain. Sadness, anger, embarrased, and so much more.

"It's your fault too!" I suddenly snapped. I realised what I had just said and saw his pain in his eyes. And ran away.

I may be the popular blond cheerleader, surrounded with friends. But today I lost all of my friends. And inside of my heart I am just a lonely loser.

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wow. what a big trouble now. I wrote it, without realising what of reaction there will be now. I don't even know how they are going to make up! Well, that's my problem. I'll tell ya' when my brain has exploded.