Learning To Love Again (Foolish×Reader)

1

T.W: Abuse

When I first started streaming, I was loud and obnoxious. Over the recent 6 months, my personality has changed. I've been more soft-spoken and don't talk as much in groups as I used to.

Some of my friends have come up to me and asked if I was okay, but I always say, "I'm fine." It's easier than the truth anyway.

This all started because of HIM, although I would never admit it.

8 months ago...

I called Chandler excitedly. "Chandler, you'll never guess what happened to me!"

"Well, if it has my little sister so excited, then I need to know."

"Remember that guy I told you about, the one I've had a crush on forever?"

He thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah. Wasn't his name like Jim or something."

"It's John, but close enough. Anyways. He asked me out on a date!" I said, filled with joy.

"Oh, y/n that's so great. I'm happy for you. I can't wait to hear all about it."

"It's on Friday. I don't know how I'll be able to wait."

"Stream. Your fans will love it. I have to go film a video with Jimmy. But you have to call me after. And if he ever hurts you, I will kill him."

6 months ago...

I was cooking dinner for John when I heard the front door open and close.

"Hey, honey. I'm just finishing up dinner. It's pasta because we didn't have much else to make."

As his footsteps became louder, a strong scent of alcohol filled the room.

"Why didn't you go out and buy some groceries with all your free time, bitch?" John slurred. "You're useless, you know that?"

He walked away, sat down on the couch, and started watching television.

Ten minutes later, I brought him some pasta and a glass of water. "Here's your food and water. It should help you to sober up."

His eyes flashed with an emotion I've only ever seen from him a few times. He took the pasta and threw it at the wall. "Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that? I am not a child, you whore, I can make my own decisions."

I stared at the pasta that was now all over the wall in shock. I had never seen John this drunk before.

"Clean that up, bitch. I'm going out."

"I don't think you should, it's really late, and-" A stinging feeling was left on my cheek from the impact of his palm.

I fell to the ground, holding my face, as tears brimmed my eyes.

He immediately knelt down. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Are you okay?" He said with what I thought was concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, just wasn't expecting it." I said, with my voice shaking.

"Here, let's get you to bed. I'll grab an ice pack."

I head to my bedroom that we shared while he got an ice pack fron the kitchen.

" I really am sorry, y/n. I honestly have no idea why I did that. You rest and try to get some sleep. You have a big stream tomorrow. I'll clean up the pasta and everything else. Okay? Just rest. Again, I'm so sorry. I'll sleep on the couch tonight." He apologized, gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, and left.

I didn't see it as a problem then. He was sincere and apologized after. He even remembered that I had to stream MCC the next day.

Although, when his attacks started to become normal, I couldn't bring myself to leave him. He was my rock, my other half. He didn't mean to hit me, I know it. He was just going through a rough time. It would stop eventually, it has to.

3 months ago...

I covered up the large purple bruise on my face with concealer, spraying setting spray onto it. I was never one that would use a lot of make-up, and I was never good at it. But because of recent... event, I've mastered the art of it.

The rest of the bruises I could hide with my clothes. He was careful to never make the bruises too obvious, usually inflicting them to my stomach or chest, sometimes my legs. Every now and then, he would leave hand imprints on my arms and wrists as well, but that hasn't happened recently.

I checked myself over in the mirror one last time before I had to leave. I looked as normal as I possibly could.

"John, I'm going to see my brother for Thanksgiving. Have fun with your family." I quietly said.

"Of course. Have fun with yours as well. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you." He smiled at me.

I nodded at him, grabbed my purse, and headed towards the door.

"Oh, and y/n." He looked down at the floor. "I'm really sorry about last night. I had a bad day at work and let it follow me home. It won't happen again, I promise.

That promise was never kept.

*A/N*
I'm back. I don't know how long this will last. I'm in college now, have been since the fall. It's all gone too fast. But, I am okay.

I hope you have all been taking care of yourselves. You are loved. Drink some water, and eat something. Your body needs it.