Flawless | Dahmin

03

The incident didn't leave my mind not even for a second. I want to think that Jimin is right and that I'm not ready yet. but what does it really feel like to be ready? does it take time to realize or is it done overnight?

When he first woke up in college did he realize that he was ready to have a girlfriend? is that why he's dating Seulgi now?

Thinking about Seulgi somehow bothered me. I liked her but for some reason, my perception of her is mixed with some other foreign feeling

"Let's eat lunch!" Gavin said happily

I sighed deeply. Is this what it feels like to have a boyfriend? My relationship to others may look dreamy, but the truth is that Gavin is demanding

"I'm eating with my friends" I said truthfully. I just want to spend time with Nayeon and the others "what? you will choose them over me?"

"it's just lunch, would you shut up?" I was getting irritated

"I'm your boyfriend, Dahyun!"

Is this really part of it? Why would I compromise?

"Yes, you are but we're always together and I want to eat with my friends today!" I said "are you not happy with me?"

am I happy with him? but all I feel when he's around is annoyance, he bothers me a lot and I don't like the way he's being a jerk around me lately

"I am but I want to be with my friends today!"

"You're lying. Fine, if you want to be with them more than me then go, whatever!" he then left me after the argument

Class was over and he tried to apologize and be sweet. I really wouldn't mind if he ignored me till next year. It's suffocating to see him all the time, at the cafeteria, classroom, library, just everywhere

So annoying, I wonder if it would have been better to have Jackson as my boyfriend instead, he keeps texting me that he won't give up on liking me

"Just the two of us, Dahyun. I'll make it up to you, please" he pleaded

"At the back of the soccerfield. What do you say?" I really don't like secluded places anymore, his forced kisses weren't a pleasant memory and the words Jimin told me that day...it's bothersome

"No one will see us there, so no gossips" he continued to piss me off, I rolled my eyes and agreed anyways "whatever"

He told me to wait for him there, he was going to buy us food. The afternoon in Seoul was silent as I made my way to that hidden and secluded place at the back of the soccerfield

These past few days I don't know why I'm so upset. I usually have the want to be alone and this is the only time in the week that I really am alone, I hope Gavin takes his time

It was an awful thought and it makes me guilty. I sat on the cemented bench. Most of the time, I would take my phone out and take pictures but this time I treasured the moment

A few minutes later Gavin came back and I sigh in annoyance, he couldn't be away any longer? how tedious

his presence upsets me today for some reason. He sat beside me and we started to eat. He's not bad when it comes to talking with no arguments. But, it was weird to laugh at his jokes and feel like he's leveling up his touch on me

"I haven't really watched those movies before" while talking about my favorite movies he wraps his hand around my waist and pushed me closer to him. He put some strands of my hair behind my ear