Toxic

C11: Too Fast

Chapter11-Too Fast

As if my happiness was wrong, my mother decided to call and check up on me. On top of that, Jason was calling too. But I didn't tell Ava any of this. I certainly didn't want her to get upset over something stupid, something that wasn't her problem.

It drove me nuts, though, that Jason called. And called. And called again. And left voice mails. I knew that he didn't like the fact that I wasn't answering him, wasn't calling him all the time, telling him how much I missed him. He probably didn't even care about me. He just wanted the attention.

When Ava came over one day, it felt like she knew what was going on. Because she didn't seem happy.

I sat up in my bed, moving my sketch book from my lap, my eyebrows pulled inward. "Hey. Is everything okay?"

Her hands were rung in front of her and she was staring down at them, her hair covering her cheeks. "No, it-it's not."

I got up and took one of her hands, leading her to the bed. "Come here. Tell me what's wrong."

She sighed and looked up at me, the skin under her eyes puffy. "I-It's about us."

"Okay, what is it?" I asked, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

She grabbed my hand and lowered it to our sides, then let go of it completely. "I think we should break up."

For a few seconds, my mind couldn't figure out what she was saying. It was like the words went in one ear and out the other. But when they did register... "B-break up? Why?"

"Everything with Jason just... It makes me wonder if you're really over him."

"Ava, I haven't answered his calls or called him myself. I don't like him. I like you."

"Why would he be calling then?"

"I don't know. I don't care either. He cheated on me and honestly, I'm glad he did. I'd rather be with you than with him."

She shook her head. "Lydia, this is just too much for me. I can't keep wondering if you're going to go behind my back and date him."

"But I'm not going to!" Panic and fear rose up in me, making me sound scared and childish when I spoke. "Ava, you're the only person I want to date."

"I think we should take a break."

I watched her expression, trying to figure out if she was going to take it all back and act like it had never happened. But she didn't. She just wiped a tear from her face and walked to the door.

"I'm sorry, Lydia."

I wanted to be mad at her. I wanted to hate her for hurting me and breaking up with me. But there was no way I could hate her. I loved her. I loved her too much to ever hate her.

So I watched her go, knowing that I couldn't say a thing to change her mind.

My mind felt numb and useless. I couldn't think straight and when I did, it only lasted a few seconds. I didn't want to deal with this. I wanted to pretend that things were normal and Ava and I were still dating. But things were so different now...

"Lydia? Are you alright?"

I looked up, through wet lashes, and saw dad standing in front of me, a concerned look on his face.

When I didn't answer him, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me from my room to his. He helped me into bed and brushed my hair away from my face. The simple action made me burst into tears. The sudden realization of Ava and my breakup being too much to handle.

"Lydia, what happened? Did something happen between you and Ava?"

I hid my face in the pillow.

"Lydia, talk to me." He said softly, sitting down on the bed beside me. "Tell me what happened."

"Ava dumped me." I mumbled through the pillow. Dumped was a harsh word. She hadn't exactly dumped me. But it sure felt that way.

"Oh, sweetheart."

I continued crying for a long time. It felt like forever that I cried. Just when my sobs lightened up, they'd start back again. Tears continued to pour down my face and kept going, even when I assumed I had no more left.

Dad stayed with me the entire day. He hardly ever left the room and when he did, it was only for a few minutes at a time. I didn't realize how much time had gone by until Larry came into the room, done for work for the day.

"Is everything okay?" He asked softly.

"Ava broke up with Lydia." Dad said.

"Oh, sweetheart." Larry came over to my open side and rubbed my arm. Did she say why?"

"S-she's afraid I'll leave her for Jason."

"Who's Jason?" He asked, looking over at dad.

"Her boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend." I mumbled.

"It sounds like she's a little jealous." Larry said.

"I still like her. I don't even care that she's jealous. I can deal with jealousy." I said, my voice foggy and quiet.

"She's just taking this too far." Dad said.

I sighed and looked up at him. "I tried telling her that nothing would happen but she wouldn't listen. I don't know what to do."

"Give her some space, Lydia. She needs time to think about what she wants. It has nothing to do with you."

"But it does. She's breaking up with me because of my ex and my old feelings for him."

"Sweetheart, maybe you jumped into things too fast." Larry said softly. "You two barely know each other and didn't you say this was your first gay relationship?"

"I was okay with taking things slow." I mumbled, messing with my bracelet. "But... I think I love her. What do I do now? I love her and she doesn't even like me."

"Just give her some time. In a week or so, you can talk to her and figure out what's going on." Dad said.

Some things were easier said than done.

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I have just realized that the gaps in my chapters are line breaks that don't show up when I transfer my work here. Sorry. I don't know how to fix it exactly...