Toxic

C12: Darren

Chapter12-Darren

Time seemed to crawl on after that. The fourth of July passed and no word from Ava. My week was up and nothing. No contact at all.

Dad told me not to call her myself. He said it would make me seem desperate and give her another reason not to be with me. As hard as it was, I listened.

The days where I'd be out until dark or stay at Ava's one night then mine the other were long behind me. I hardly ever left the house at all. Dad had to drag me to go to lunch with him and even then, I barely ate or spoke. I was making things miserable for everyone around me. But dad and Larry never said a word about it.

"Lydia, I asked Darren to stay for the weekend. I told him that you were going through a tough time right now-"

I could get past the part where he asked my brother to visit. I understood even dad wanted to see him sometime or another. But for him to tell Darren I was gay? "Please tell me he doesn't already know."

Dad smiled just a little. "No, I didn't tell him. I figured you would."

I groaned at that. Sure, I wanted it to be me to tell him, and eventually my mother, but I had figured that wouldn't happen for a while now.

"Relax, Lydia. I think he's the worst of your worries." Dad was right. Mom would be harder to tell. She wouldn't understand, wouldn't trust that I was making the right decision for myself. She's judge me and that isn't what I need in my life.

I sighed. "When's he coming?"

The doorbell rang, answering my question.

I groaned and pulled the blanket up over my face. "I can't do this."

Dad took my hand and squeezed it. "Lydia, relax. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Tell him when you're ready."

I peaked out of the blanket and watched him walk to the door.

My brother wasn't judgmental like mom, like I had once been. He didn't hate the fact that dad moved in with another man. He barely spoke of it, really. Though he lived a few hours away at a prestigious college. We barely talked to each other and when we did it was short and clipped.

"You know, it doesn't surprise me to see her laying on the couch."

I pushed the blanket away and glared at him. "I have every right to be here, you know."

He smiled. "Sure you do."

Dad patted Darren on his shoulder. "I have work to do. If you need me, I'll be in my room."

I sighed and rolled onto my side. "If you're here to lecture me, I don't want to hear it. Mom already has."

He laughed. "I figured she had."

"Did she rat me out?" Though dad would keep secrets for me, my mother was another story. If her divorce hadn't hurt her, she would have talked about dad and Larry to everyone. She was big on gossip.

He sat down in one of the chairs, setting his bag down beside him. "No, mom didn't talk about you. Though I only talked to her for five minutes. She likes to vent about dad and I don't have the patience or the time for that."

I smiled. "I don't blame you." Over the years, I learned how to pretend I was listening to mom even when I wasn't.

"If she wanted to talk about you, she didn't get the chance."

"I'm glad she didn't."

His eyebrow rose. "Dad said things were kind of rough. I assumed so when he said you were staying with him."

"Things were fine when I got here. I mean, it was boring and all but it was good. I met someone and-"

"Wait, you met someone? What happened to that guy mom hated? Jared, Jeremy-"

"His name's Jason. And he's cheating on me. So I dumped him. I mean, I wanted to but I never actually told him."

"Isn't that kind of harsh?"

"He cheated on me, Darren."

He held up his hands. "Fair enough. Keep going."

"Anyway, things were going great for us then all of a sudden we were done. It felt like it happened within days. But we started dating the beginning of summer."

"Why'd he break up with you?"

I sighed, my ears getting hot and my hands getting sweaty. "It-it's a girl, actually."

Both his eyebrows rose and he was silent for a few minutes. Even after everything I knew about my brother, I had a few seconds of panic where I wondered if he was going to act like mom and shun me. But he didn't. "I honestly don't believe it. You? With a girl? It's like hell freezing over. No, it's like mom being nice to everyone."

I smiled at that. "Don't make it such a big deal. It really isn't. And if you tell mom-"

"Don't worry. I certainly don't want to be the one to tell her."

I glared at him. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "Mom would find some reason to blame me. She can be a little..."

"Much? Yes, she always is. I mean, I was mad when she made me come here but I'm glad to be away from her for a while. It's nice to not fight with her all the time."

"Now you see why I talk to dad more than mom."

I laughed. "Poor mom won't have anyone talking to her when she gets older."

"Okay, more about this girl. Why'd she dump you?"

I winced at the word dump but continued talking. "She thought I would go back to Jason if he was nice enough. Like I was just with her until he showed me some attention."

"Does she know he cheated on you?"

I nodded. "She was there when I found out."

"Then I don't get why she's acting like this."

I shrugged. "I'm starting to think she's been hurt before and doesn't want this to end up the same way. And that she's using my problem with Jason as a way to help her out."

"Maybe she is." He said quietly. "Were you two close?"

"I love her. I don't know how she feels but... I miss her. A lot."

"Give her some time. She'll come to her senses."

I groaned. "I've given her time. I'm tired of waiting."

"You can't force her to feel something if she doesn't. I mean, there's nothing you can do now."

Not being with Ava was killing me slowly. It was agonizing waiting to see what she would do next. Waiting to see if we'd get back together or just go our separate ways.

"There has to be something."

He shrugged and leaned back. "Focus on yourself for a while. Show her that she's missing out by not being with you."