Just Let Go (Harry Styles)

Chapter Thirty-Five - Broken

I was awaken suddenly from my restless slumber from my home phone ringing loudly. My first thought was, who calls home phones anymore and then second, who could it be. I pulled my heavy self from my bed and slugged my way to the phone in the hallway. I realized as I made my way there, that it did not matter how fast I went because whoever was calling seemed to be calling repeatedly.

"Hello?" I said sleepily.

"Kristen! Why haven't you been answering your cell phone?" Jennifer's voice sounded through the other end of the line. Before I could respond she continued. "Anyway, listen, I'm moving to Hawaii. Remember that guy I told you about? We are getting pretty serious so I need your help. Can you come over?"

Her words were spoken so quickly, I could barely process everything. How did Jennifer, of all people have so much energy in the morning? As I listened to her tell me about her relationship with Kalvin, her Hawaiian boyfriend, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. It was so nice to hear her voice again. I felt like I hadn't talked to her in months. It reminded me so much of happier days when she would gush to me about her fun dates with celebs. I missed all this girl talk so much.

"So can you come today?" Jennifer broke my train of thought with her question. "Uh, yeah," I said a bit in a grumble, still waking up. I cleared my throat quickly and answered again. "Yes, I'll be there in a minute."

I turned back to my room to get dressed. Upon entering, I found my phone on the floor underneath my bedside table, dead. That answered the question of why I never answered. Pulling on a pair of jeans, T - Shirt, and converse. I grabbed my keys and cell phone and then left my apartment for Jennifer's house.

I had been home for about four weeks, and I guess the paparazzi realized that they weren't going to get anything else from me because when I pulled out from my parking garage, I saw only a few sticking around as I drove by the front of my apartment building. Out of habit, I stopped and got coffee for Jennifer and myself before I headed up to Beverly Hills.

When I reached the front door of Jennifer's house, I hesitated, was I still allowed to enter on my own or not. I didn't want to cross the line, so I opted for the doorbell. "Come in, it's open!" I heard Jennifer call through the door. "Kristen!" Jennifer said as she wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you so much for coming, your a doll." She unwrapped herself from around me and then took her coffee from the tray in my hand so naturally, like she had always done. Her home felt so familiar to me and she was treating me like she always had done.

"No problem. Now, what can I do for you?" I asked as I took a sip of my chocolate caramel latte. "Well, since I am moving, I am stopping fantasies. I need you to do what you do and organize the final finances and make sure to write yourself a big enough bonus check to keep yourself going until you find a new job." Of course I knew she would close fantasies. If she was moving to Hawaii to be with someone she loved. Why would she bother to continue this business?

I nodded to her my understanding and made my way to the office. When I entered, a slight feeling of deja vu hit me. The office looked the exact same way I had left it  three months ago. Funny, doesn't seem like a long time, but so much has happened since then. I went to London, fell in love, and had my heart broken. When I started to feel my tears brim my eyes. I pushed all thoughts of Harry out of my mind and got busy trying to catch up on bills and other things related to the business that had accumulated in my absence.

I was dead tired when I arrived back to my apartment. I had worked all morning in the office, then later in the afternoon. Jennifer had me stop what I was doing and help her with house packing. She wanted to take all her precious glass and wall hangings. So we spent the rest of the day taking down and wrapping her wall fixtures. I signed from the realization that we hadn't even tackled the furniture and knew that those would be on the agenda for tomorrow. I decided to relax on the couch for a bit and watch TV for a bit before retiring to bed.

I had probably been sitting on my couch for an hour or two before my attention was called to my front door. Who could that be? I wondered as I glanced at the time. It was 11:30, and so I simply ignored it. But the person knocked again and again and again making it hard. Getting up from my couch, I made my way over to the door and abruptly opened it. "Do you have any-" I said angrily until I saw who was behind me door. "Harry, what-" Before I could speak, he took me into his arms and kissed me passionately. "Don't speak, Kristen. Just feel me." Harry said between kisses. I didn't need him to tell me twice. His kisses made me forget the world leaving just the two of us.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me. He was here. Harry was here in my arms again. I could barely believe it. Harry wrapped his arms around my waist and pushed himself into my apartment while closing the door behind him. Our lips never leaving each others. I missed him so much that when we pulled apart I buried my face into his sweet curls, reminding myself of his sweet scent. He kissed up and down my neck, while his hands traced down my body, scoping me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly, clinging to him as he pushed me deeper against the wall. "Harry, I missed you so much." My emotions getting the better of me, tears of joy began to fall. Harry pulled away just enough to look me in the eyes.

"I missed you too." He said as he kissed my tears. "Never part from me again. Let me love you tonight so that I can wash away your loneliness." I could only nod. I had no more words for him. I needed him in my life forever. If he was not with me, I couldn't go on. Harry pressed his lips to mine again. This time, more hungry and needy. He sought me and I sought him. Our lips parted instinctively at the same time in order for our tongues to meet. The kiss grew more passionate. He had never kissed me like this before. This kiss was more passionate then the one at Greenwich. My hands found their way through the sleeves of his shirt and I greedily squeezed his bare shoulders under his shirt. His breath caught and he moved one of his hands to my face to caresses my face.

When he pulled us away from the wall and started walking toward the bedroom, I knew there was no going back. "I love you, Harry." I said almost quivering from anticipation and love.

"I love you too." Then we fell onto my bed.

Bang! I landed on the floor next to the couch. The TV was on and I was alone. A dream! My conscious screamed. Tears filled my eyes Instinctively. "I knew it was to good to be true. I should have known that!" I screamed to myself, covering my face in my hands. I sobbed uncontrollably, my body shaking. Harry was never here, nor would he ever be here. I hated my heart and mind because they still believed that I would see Harry again. Why couldn't I forget him? Why was my will not strong enough? I was tearing myself a part from the inside out with no cure. I felt sick, so sick. I couldn't stomach my food from earlier. I ran to the bathroom and threw up my dinner.

I heard once that you could die from a broken heart. Of course, I had never believed it. But now, I was not so sure. Can you really die from a broken heart? I guess. . . Maybe. . .