Inexpedetly waiting I sat there like a kid ,
Concentrated on my drawing,
When I couldn't return to spring,
While the moments which mattered ,passed like they always did,like a movie .
Nothing made sense ,everything lost in those overpowering moments,
All the pain lost in the thought that I shouldn't be here.
The moments of brief ,meeting with the curse so beautiful,
In those moments I felt peace ,
That kind of peace I haven't felt in years ,
And I couldn't help but add it to my curiosity,
That maybe this is life,
Moments after touching death .
The more voices I heard ,the more my emotions surfaced,
Those ones I had buried deep in my skin ,
The more the sympathies grew ,the more it made me realize,
That I failed ,failed at meeting death,
And yet I was able to feel nothing ,
It all felt like any other ordinary day.
People say it was supposed to cause pain,
And yet all I could feel was the fear of what's going to happen next,
While the voices blurred I sat there like a child ,
Just concentrated on the drawing I made ,
All I can remember was ,that it was all ordinary,
While people around me panicked seeing my wrist adorned in red,
And still all I did was ,I sat like a child ,
Numbly staring at the drawing I made .
[Dec 09.22] -soulswift.
