I wish that I had never met him. Then there would be no need to impress him. No need to want him. No need for loving him. No need for crying over him. No need for heart breaks. No need for pain or tears. No need for rejected hugs. No need for forgotten promises. No need for acting like you care. No need for caring for him. No need to keep thinking about him. No need for keeping everything he did to make me feel like there is absolutely nothing to him at all (ex).
But one day, he’ll know. He’ll know my birthday, my middle name, my parents' names, and where I was born. He’ll know my zodiac, my eye color, how many scares I have, and how I got them. He’ll know how many cousins I have and maybe exactly how many freckles I have. He’s going to know my favorite book (can’t choose), movie, song, food, pair of shoes, and color. He’ll know my dreams and why I can’t sleep at night. He’ll understand why I worry about irrelevant things. He’ll know that when that one song comes on, he’d better turn it up. He’s going to memorize my facial expressions, I laugh when I really think something is funny and the bad habits I wish I could break. He’ll know how and when the sun sets or the sun rises. He’s going to know how many kids I want, what colors I want in my wedding, and how I wish I could tell all the people how I feel towards them. He’ll know that it takes me forever and a day to decide where I want to eat and exactly what ice cream I like to order because I never change it. He’s going to know how I dance, kiss, smile, walk, and sing. He’ll figure out what to do when I can’t stop crying and he’ll know exactly what’s wrong before I tell him. One of these days you're going to know everything there is to know about me and he’s going to love all of it. If he’s truly the one, I won’t have to beg for attention. He will be there, even when he's not around me. I won’t have to force it, because even when things are hectic, he will still find a way to fit me into his life. Even if trust is a foreign feeling to me, he’ll know my story, and will be damned to become just another number. He will NEVER tear me down, rather, he will come with tools, ready to help repair my heart. If you truly are one, I’ll know (I think). Everything before he will be a forgettable nightmare, and he, the beautiful dream in which I’ll never have to wake up (boyfriend now).
All I want to do is see him everyday. Not because I’m clingy, or jealous, or dependent. No, I want to just see him because he makes me smile. I just want to hug him, kiss him, and tell him that “I love you”. I want to see him smile and feel his hand in my hand. We don’t have to do anything at all. I just want to love him (boyfriend now).
The thing is that I didn’t fall in love with him because I was lonely or lost, I fell in love with him because after I got to know him, I realized that I wanted to make him a permanent part of my world (boyfriend now).
If he’s looking for perfection, I’m not the woman for him. If he’s looking for honesty, loyalty, and a whole bunch of silliness and fun, that’s all me (boyfriend now).
Then you might be the one (boyfriend now).
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
PoetryThis book will contain everything that I felt over the years I got back into writing. You can judge them all you want but this is me and how I feel, no one can't change that.
