GRIDLOCK - Lando Norris [BOOK 1 Gridlock Series]

08

The race and podiums have been over for half an hour now and everyone is slowly exiting the Red Bull garage.

I still haven't heard anything about Lando except for the fact that he was taken to emergency.

The only chatter that seems to be around this garage is Arrogant prick and self-centred bastard. How karma got the better of him. But no one will tell me how he actually is.

Johan stands in front of me with a look I know all too well from him, it's a how could you not tell me look.

"What the hell is going on, Evelyn".

I let out a sigh of defeat, "I don't even know Johan. There's nothing really to tell."

"It's bullshit Evelyn and you know it. I never thought would be the type to lie to each other." he seethed

"I haven't lied to you Johan, there's nothing to tell." I defend

"Yeah well it sounds a little different coming out of the McLaren garage. Zach just keeps screaming about a distraction. Are you that distraction Evelyn?"

"If I am, I don't know about it. Last night I tried to talk to Lando but he didn't want a bar of it." Letting out a huge sigh and running his fingers through his hair he looks down at me with a newfound emotion.

"Are you sleeping with Lando?"

At least I can be honest about this, "No I'm not sleeping would Lando".

The lights go out in the Red Bull garage as Johan and the rest of the team leave. I follow them out and run into the last person I want to see right now.

"That was a risky move he pulled" I look up on him and it's written all over his face.

"I'm glad you're okay, Max". I proffered

"You know, there seems to be a bit of chatter up and down the grid that Lando had other things on his mind during today's race. Something that may have angered him. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Jesus Christ, not him as well. I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes, out of stress, anger, fear and how much I actually did deeply care for Lando.

"I don't know what to tell you" I speak in all honesty.

Max's lips tighten, but he no longer looks mad, There's a hint of empathy behind his smirk.

"Evelyn, out on the track, they are my rivals, for every other minute that we are in the sport together. They are my friends. I care about them. What is best for them. Even if that means having one of them With my little sister."

As one teardrop falls from my right eye, which I quickly wipe away, it feels like the weight of the earth is crumbling down on me. "I'm not dating Lando, I'm not sleeping with Lando, I'm not in a relationship with Lando."

I feel more angry now than anything. Because even though I'm not being honest about my feelings, I am being honest and matter-of-fact about that situation. Lando and I are nothing. We never even kissed.

"He is okay, by the way. It was one of the first things I went and got news of after he went away in the ambulance. They're running some tests but it seems he blacked out in the collision. They're just doing some scans to make sure it's not anything serious." That one tear has now advanced into a stream, a mixture of relief and anger and fear.

All drivers are now on a one week break before they head to Singapore for the next Grand Prix. I've chosen to stay a little longer but I know all the drivers are heading over to Singapore to party Central, but right now, I think I just need to be alone with my thoughts. I extended my stay at the hotel for another week so I don't need to pack up and move. I think a week without Formula One would be good.

It's 12 noon and I haven't gotten out of bed yet. It's my first day of vacation and I plan on spending it wallowing in my own self pity. Whatever was starting between Lando and I must've all been in my head, but it confuses me the reaction to Charles. That's what I'm basing his anger out of and his comment about me being like Maddie.

If we were nothing and his reaction is unwarranted, but if we were something then surely he would talk to me.

Unfortunately, room service refuses to deliver me any cocktails. Against hotel policy. What a joke.

In the later evening I find myself strolling along the streets of Monza centre in my white sundress, hair still in my sleeping bun and no makeup at all applied to my face, in search of someone who will serve me a Piña colada.

I stumble across the DIVE cocktail house and find myself settled at a stool at the bar in no time. With the Verstappen credit card on file, my endless flow of cocktails begins.

It's roughly around drink number 6 that I start to consider if maybe I look pathetic. Sat at this bar all on my own, making polite conversation with whoever may sit down next to me, and if not, with the friendly bar staff.

"We're about to start serving last drinks, did you want another?" The kind, yet probably slightly concerned bartender, Lorenzo, offers.

"Hmm" I think about it, "no thanks, I'll just settle my tab I think"

The only smart decision I've made in a while.

As I stumble back toward the hotel, I find myself thinking about Charles, and how excited he must be to get his first podium in Monza. And to Max, and what was going through his head when he smashed into the wall. And to Lando, I wonder many things about Lando.

I'm following a lovely couple back towards what must be their hotel as I've turned every corner they have since I left DIVE. She looks at him so loving, and he's got his arm comfortably across her shoulders.

That's what I want. Someone who isn't afraid to be with me in public and who's affection is welcomed and not laced with betrayal.

That is... until I hear that familiar crow-like laugh.

Lando.

With his arm comfortably across another girls shoulders, whilst she looks at him so loving.

Shit.

And I'm now following them back to what probably is my hotel, because he probably stayed here in Italy too.

I'm quite literally and dramatically, following something that is breaking my heart all the way back to my apartment. With every step I watch him take with her, I ask myself how stupid I must have been to think we could ever have that. Or be that.

I shouldn't be jealous, you aren't even mine. But I guess some part of me, a huge part of me, thought that our story wasn't over yet. That maybe someday when the stars lined up just a little bit more, we could have had a chapter or two in our story.

I try and slow down my pace so I'm not so close to them, but it seems like nothing at all seems to help. I'm watching them walk together and him whisper things into her ears to which she chuckles.

I wonder if he's asking her to tell me something.

"Shit" I whisper shout as I stub my toe on a slightly lifted cobble stone. And then I realise my mistake.

I've caught the attention of those within ear distance.

Meaning Lando.

And his new girl.

If I could see myself right now, I would presume that me, and a deer in headlights would look quite similar as I stare over at Lando who is standing there completely shocked to see me.

But the events that followed I could have never predicted from him, regardless of what I've been told, regardless of what I have witnessed. Nothing could have ever prepared me for him to replace his arm around the girls shoulders, kiss the side of her head, and continue to lead her toward the hotel. As if he never even knew me.

I watched my heart break all over again in that very moment. I heard the crack, I felt the pain, I watch it shatter.