Ember Brown
Walking into class, I glanced at the flowers that sat on the empty desk.
Since it has been a month, the custodial workers had cleared the desk, removing everything that all of our classmates left there. But still, people still left stuff to remember him by on a regular basis.
So of course, today there were new things left on the desk. People couldn't help it. He really was loved by everyone.
All in all it was a sad situation. Extremely unfortunate.
But yet. For some reason I still haven't really cried yet.
There's nothing. worse than watching everyone around you grieving in certain way and feeling like you're the only one whose grieving wrong.
Maybe it hadn't hit me yet.
Maybe I'm just in shock.
Sometimes I did catch myself staring at his desk for a long period of time. Way longer than I intended to.
Earlier this year, someone sat there every school day and now it was just empty.
Life moves unnecessarily fast. It still seemed so unreal.
It felt like a dream that I was supposed to wake up from any moment now.
Blinking my eyes a few times, I shook my head as I headed straight to my desk and sat down.
"How are you feeling today?" Symone asked me as soon as I sat down.
"Fine."
"Em, it's fine if you're not-."
"I said I'm fine."
Symone sighed, giving Ember an sympathetic look. Turning back around, Symone faced the from of the classroom as the teacher walked in the class.
Staring down at my notebook, my eyes got slightly watery. Blinking them a few times, I let out a sigh.
I literally could not focus on anything at the moment.
Raising my hand, I waited for the teacher to call on me.
"Yes, Ember?"
"Can I be excused?"
"Sure." She gave me a soft smile. "Take the hall pass."
Once again, I left the building.
I needed air.
On the regular, I tended to recieve looks from my peers.
Sympathetic looks.
I guess I didn't keep my feelings for him as concealed as I thought it was.
And while I understand the concern, it could be a bit much at time. I don't need people to stop what their doing to look at me and give me this safe look.
I already feel bad enough as is.
"You know. For someone whose always telling me to get to class, you sure haven't been there that much yourself."
Of course it was Anzai.
I subtly rolled my eyes, wrapping my arms around myself.
"Bothering me yet again?"
He chuckled, walking closer to me.
"You look beautiful."
"Stop it." I mumbled, looking away from him.
"Ember?"
I turned my head to look at him.
"I love you."
