love on the brain-pablo gavi

chapter twenty-five

She didn't want to open her eyes and see the reality. She just couldn't. Its only been a week in the hospital, but that week felt like hell to Bella. Not only because of the pain, it was because of the walls that keep her here. She would have liked to be with her mother, even thought she hated her but being with her always gave her hope. She only was there for her when she has to go to the hospital. Shes scared to say that these will be a few of her only memories with her mum. 

Sometimes they play some games or sit in front of the TV and watch some old series from the time her mother was young like Bella now. Bellas favourite show is without a doubt FRIENDS. Maybe its because she always had a crush on Joey, but maybe its also because she loves the style of the 90s. Sometimes she wished that she would life in the 90s. You don't worry about how life is going, you just life the wild 90s and are free. Well, thats how Bella imagines them. In reality they are not different like now. 

It was nearly 11 a.m. and she still laid in her bed, with her eyes closed. She knew when she opened her eyes she would at first be confronted with the white walls and after that she would turn to the right and see the machine that provided her for the last few days. 

She should have beenn thankful for it, her live depended on it, but when she says that she would have rather died than staying here for more days. As she finally opened her eyes she wanted to cry, but she didn't. She cried so much in the last week that she thinks that her body is not able to produce tears ever again. 

A knock on her door brought her out of those thoughts. "Yes?", she said quietly but still loud enough for anybody to hear. A dark skin woman with a very big smile on her face opened the door. Greta, one of her favourite nurses here in the hospital, or even better in the world. She has been here since the day Bella got the diagnosed and since then she never left. 

"Who do we have here? The birthdaygirl", she said in a  cheering up tone. Bella didn't have her phone or anything with her, so she didn't know that her birthday was today, she only knew that it was gonna be the following week. 

"Your not happy that you're turning 13 today?", she asked while she checked the machine next to Bella, from which she had no idea what its real name is. 

"As happy as I can be". Greta looks down to her, knowing that Bella never was the type to be happy about anything. She nodded. 

"You know Bella", she said as she brushed through her curly hair. "Its not gonna be that way forever, one day you can stay at home, take your medicine and live your life like you deserve to do". Bella watched the older woman, like always she was impressed how good she was able to bring her in a better mood. 

"You promise me that you will be like them?". Bella nodded, not sure if she could ever make that promise, but she didn't want to disappoint her. 

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Bella always reminds herself that she should be happy for how shes feeling in the moment and that she is doing way better then at that time. But its different now. Now she doesn't think about her life ending and that should be the best time of her life. 

Now she has something way more difficult in her mind, all the time. 

Theres something in her that thinks about this boy every second. Its weird how his face comes to her mind, even when she doesn't think about him. His light brown eyes, his soft brown hair and his smirk, that smirk where half of his face squeezes up and his eyes get way smaller. Maybe some will say that it looks dumb, but Bella thinks it fits him perfect how his white straight teeth and his eyes glow more.