Fight For You | Eren X Reader

29 | Amends

Content warnings; none

Songs I listened to for this chap;
slipping through my fingers- abba
hey there Delilah- plain white ts
rome- dermot kennedy
it will rain- Bruno mars

I recollected the moment I've met all of my friends for the first time. The sun was vivid that day, the school halls echoed with laughter and voices. Their faces were fulfilled with euphoria, as mine were filled with fretfulness when I walked through those school halls for the first time.  However, I relished having friends who showed me what it felt like to be cared for.

They welcomed me with open arms and had my back since day one—no matter what circumstance came my way.

But all of it diminished because of my imprudent mistakes. Yet here I was, fighting for their forgiveness—fighting for them to hear the truth about everything. They were so honest with me, they trusted me and I've been lying to them since the beginning because I wanted to fit in.

I wanted to feel included.

Though, in the end, that simply had gotten me nowhere. I couldn't help, but to think that maybe things would've been different if I had been transparent, if I had told them how much I needed them, if I told them how much I loved Eren.

But I was unsure at the time—I was unsure of how things would turn out—I was unsure of how I've felt, until it was too late. And now, it feels as if there were a mountain between me and them.

I snapped back into reality, staring at all of my ex friends sitting across from me. It was finally time to tell them the truth, whether they would forgive me or not. I couldn't dwell on that forever. My broken past—the one I held in for years. Internally screaming, mentally feeling alone, aphonic suffering and wondering if my life was worthwhile.

"I asked you guys to meet me here for one reason. I need to tell you all the truth." I huffed, timorously fidgeting with my fingers.

Ymir scoffed, "Sure which version of it? You lying bitch." She voiced, indignantly.

I closed my eyes and let out a hefty sigh, "The version I should've told you all from the start." I responded, disregarding her evident bitterness towards me.

"I don't have all day." Sasha said, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Truth is, I've never been enrolled into a public school before. I grew up in solitary, so all of this was actually new to me—even having friends." I elucidated, reddening from how sheepish I felt.

I perceived how muddled they looked, but that didn't stop me. No matter how uneasy I felt, I needed to tell them everything.

"I watched my mother pass away in front of me at such a young age and since then, I was always alone because my father was never around. And recently, I found out he's never coming home to me again." I continued, my eyes glossy from tears that were emerging.

"Oh, (Y/N)... I had no idea." Historia stated, her eyes softening.

"When I found out he left, I lacerated myself and then tried to end my life, but Eren saved me." I stated, as I pulled up my arm sleeve, giving them the view of my freshly scarred cuts.

"(Y/N), why didn't you come to us?! We would've helped you!" Armin stated, apprehensively. Everyone else remained silent, staring at my arm.