Lavender Dreams

Chapter 3 - Half Agony, Half Hope

Hotel restaurant in Friday Harbor. May 28, 2006. Sunday morning.

The morning began much like the one before, with Sara bemused by her dream. She was reluctant to describe it to Neal, but of course he wheedled it out of her because he was Neal.

His lips twitched into a smile when she told him who they were this time.

"What?" she asked.

He took a sip of coffee before saying, "As I recall, Mr. Knightley was significantly older than Emma."

Sara threw her napkin at him. "Six months! I'm less than six months older than you!"

"You made such a big deal about it when you found out," he said, laughing as he placed her napkin back on the table.

"It is not gentlemanly of you to bring that up," she announced.

He chuckled. "Based on your dream, I think the more important question is whether you were gentlemanly. Did you ravish me?"

"You have read the story, right?" Sara recalled ogling his thighs and decided not to mention it. "One does not get ravished in a Jane Austen novel."

"Yeah, but your dream was more..." he paused, seeming to search for the right term. "Fanfiction? Based on the novel, but augmented by your imagination."

Sara nodded. "I'll talk to my subconscious about that. I'm sorry to say this dream didn't merit an R rating." But was she sorry? Neal had been too enthralled with Kate, and Sara did not want to see that expanded to include a sex scene.

#

Neal smiled and teased, but he was growing concerned. He and Sara had a healthy fantasy life and weren't shy about sharing and even acting out some of those fantasies. The fact that she was troubled about her dream and unwilling to share the details worried him.

Maybe he should wait. Give her time and a less public setting to request more details. He was about to push his plate away and ask for the check, when suddenly Sara blurted out, "Mr. Elton was Kate."

Neal turned that around in his head. "Okay."

"She was cooing over babies and trying to get you interested and I've never been so jealous in my life."

"Umm." He thought back to their conversation yesterday. "I didn't mean to pressure you when I asked about kids."

"I don't feel pressured. It's just..." She closed her eyes a moment, seeming to collect herself. "You brought it up in the context of Kate. Of wanting to have kids with her."

Neal took a deep breath. "You know I'm glad that didn't happen, right? Me and Kate, we weren't ever going to be right for each other. Kids wouldn't have helped."

She nodded.

The waiter left the check, and Neal scrawled his signature and their room number. When they left the restaurant, Sara turned away from the hotel lobby and walked outside. There was a small green space with benches that overlooked the harbor. The breeze was fresh and birds were singing. It was a lovely day for Angela's wedding.

Sara leaned against the railing, looking toward the ocean. "The thing is, when I said I wanted kids it was... It's true. I've pretty much always expected to have kids someday, and I looked forward to it in a vague way. But I've never wanted them with someone specific. I mean, I never thought about having kids with Bryan, or with anyone else. Then yesterday you asked and I imagined kids with you."

Neal put an arm around her waist. "You can see me as a dad?"

"I can. And it... it tore at my heart that you'd imagined that with someone else." She turned to face him. "And that's stupid. You were in love with Kate. Sure, she wasn't who you thought, but you'd never even met me."