「ᴇɴᴛʀᴀɴᴄᴇᴅ」 - 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐕 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⋈「Paracosm」⋈

Paracosm (n) — a prolonged imaginary world. Paracosms are thought generally to originate in childhood and to have one or numerous creators.

"I see your eyes, your smile, your face..." 

"But I know this will be the last time before I get to see them again."

Eli Clark x reader

(Kind of a short story. Should I make a prequel?)

⋈———⋈

Memories.

They all hurt so much.

But you refuse to face reality for a painful imaginary world where nothing was ever wrong.

Don't deny reality. What ever comes and goes, comes and goes.

Are you really willing to shut off reality, Eli?

Eli, answer me. 

Please.

Eli-

"NO!"

He yelled in his bedroom, awake and hyperventilating. It was 4 in the morning, his blue eyes were dull and tears were slowly falling out of it. He clutched his head and wondered why he heard your voice if you're already gone. He found Brooke Rose right beside him, she hooted with the tone of concern.

"I'm fine, Brooke... just another bad dream."

Just another bad dream...

That phrase has been repeating when you passed that morning, and he couldn't just stop. It's been a year coping with your death and he still can't get a grip on life. He has the sanity to at least take care of Brooke Rose, but he couldn't bear looking into the eyes of the other survivors. The ones he once called family. He wishes to scream, but something about your passing has made him so scared.

Ever since your death, he was never the same man. He has created an imaginary world for himself He'd keep himself inside his room, and pretend that you were still there. He would talk and stare at nothing. He would talk about his day, and how he didn't feel so well to go back to matches, and how he would miss singing songs to you and reciting poems or haikus to you. So he decided to stay in his room for as long as he wishes. He swore to himself that he wouldn't come out unless the others were in their rooms, so that he wouldn't make a single eye contact with anyone. If he did, he knew that it wouldn't be good.

He knew that you wouldn't want this for him, but what is life without you? He would be miserable without you, and you know that you wouldn't want something like that for him. Of course he'd keep this secret, he didn't want any of the survivors becoming a therapist for him and interrupt his time alone. Everybody was worried about him, they carried the same burden he does. Everybody would attempt to bring him out of his room to socialize, but it became useless once they realized that it was too much of him. And he was already considered gone from the manor, and he was no longer a part of this world. It was as if the universe forgot he even existed.

When you died, everybody in the manor was not the same. But it affected Eli the most. When Gertrude died (MY FANTASY MY RULES), you stepped in and it was like a miracle. The Gods have given him a chance and he rejoiced in happiness, but your life had been taken away as soon as he wanted to confess his feelings. But what difference would it make if he said "I love you"? You would die anyways. The difference between that scenario and now is that you both are together living the lives you both wanted to live even though you both were stuck in the manor.

"I-I should go back to sleep, you should too, Brooke..."

He sighed, knowing that his day is just hours away from beginning, yet he didn't want it to start. He wanted to dream of you, but why is it that every time he does, he does not see you, he just hears your voice in the wind, unaccepting his current ways of living life. He hates it, and he knows that you hate it too. But he can't get out of it. Once it's created, there's no turning back. He will be forced to live in a fantasy forever.

His tears still ran through his face, he wouldn't bother drying it off because it'll just come again. The dry tear stains lay on his face, and he wouldn't wash it off until he woke up again. He sighed shakily and tried to go back to sleep. He knew it wouldn't work because the thought of you in his head was traumatizing and it hurt him so much knowing full well that your death will haunt you for the rest of his life.

This has been kept up for another 9 years. Time flew fast. 

When it was your 6th death anniversary. Everybody in the manor already left, even the hunters. They would only come for your death anniversary and sometimes reminisce some of the memories spent here. But Eli refused to leave with them. If this is where he found love, this is where it will end. The old willow tree where you were buried is where he stayed for the rest of his life. Brook followed soon, and he was all alone. The owner of the Manor didn't bother kicking him out for he is bound for death anyway. He would still talk to you after those 9 years of loneliness, he would still talk about his day, and how much he loves you and how he regrets not saying it sooner before you died. He truly loved you to the point he never left. He would leave your favorite flowers on your grave, and he would sing the songs you loved, recite your favorite poems and haikus. Even if he cried a lot and wished that you were here in his arms, his voice still remains pure and soft. It was smooth, even if he talked while he cried. But even with a voice like that, it's not loud enough to call out to the Gods and demand them to have you back.

At one point, he decided that it would be better without his shawl and blindfold. He was no longer The Seer anymore. 

He was no other than an ordinary man named Eli Clark. He was an ordinary man who fell in love with a woman named Gertrude. They both spent 6 years of happiness, until Gertrude fell ill and died. With a heavy heart, he decided to leave their beloved home and set off to play a dangerous game in the Oletus Manor. Then he meets you, he believed that you were the miracle in life. You weren't Gertrude but you were just as amazing and beautiful as her, but in three years time, she died of an accident in the same manor. That same man spent his life in the manor, even when everybody left, and he is soon bound for death...

Even in his everlasting paracosm, he never left you. Sure in his fantasy, you were alive. But here is where he would stay, right beside your grave. Taking care of it and even sleeping beside it. And when he dies, he would reunite with you and Brooke. Hand in hand, forever. He knew that once he died, the story of Eli Clark was finally over.

"I love you."

Fin.