sᴇʟᴄᴏᴜᴛʜ (ᴛsᴜ'ᴛᴇʏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

chapter fourteen

Small sniffles filled my ears as I slowly woke up. I groaned and put my hand over my eyes before I felt the hammock shaking. I took my hand off, opening my eyes and looking over to a sleeping Tsu'tey. A pained look was on his face as he curled into himself. His breaths were quick and sharp as his body shook.

I gently placed my hand on his arm and he instinctively flinched, his eyes flying open. Tears dripped down the side of his face as he gasped for air and I brought his head to my chest, holding tightly onto him.

"Sh, it's okay, it's okay. It was just a dream, you're okay." I whispered gently to him as I stroked his hair. His breathing was ragged and uneven as I carefully rocked back and forth.

I whispered sweet nothing into his ear as his breathing slowed and he calmed down. Once his cries turned into small sniffles he sat up and lifted himself onto the branch, just sitting there. I followed suit and sat next to him in silence.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I placed my hand on top of his, "Whatever for?"

He looked down, "Crying."

A light laugh fell from my lips, "What? You're sorry for crying?"

He rubbed his arm, "Yeah, it's weak. I'm supposed to be strong for you. I'm sorry for being weak."

I stayed silent for a second, moving my hand to his shoulder, "Tsu't-"

He shrugged my hand off, "No. No, I don't want you convincing me that it isn't weak. It is. It is, Y/n. My father always told me never to cry, and that I needed to be strong for my future mate. I've failed you and I'm sorry." A single tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away, scoffing.

I shook my head and gently moved his head to look at me. "No." I said sternly and shushed him as he opened his mouth. Another tear slid down his cheek. "This? These tears? They are not a weakness. They show how strong you are and how strong you've always been. Fuck what your dad says because it's not true, Tsu'tey. You haven't failed anyone, especially not because you were crying."

I gently wiped away the tears that flowed down his cheeks as he hugged me tightly, his body shaking slightly. I hugged back just as hard, rubbing comforting circles on his back.

"I'm just so scared." He admitted in a shaky voice.

"And that's okay. I'm here, we'll be okay. You'll be okay." I whispered back. "Are you okay with telling me what the nightmare was?"

He nodded and took a deep breath, "I-I was just doing some Olo'eyktan stuff, and-and Jake came running towards me and he was crying and he told me you were hurt. And I ran as fast as I could to you and when I got there you were dead, and-and blood was everywhere. Then I looked over and S/n-" His eyes filled with tears again.

"Sh, it's okay, take your time." I reassured him.

He took another deep breath, "S/n and Kiri were there. And they were dead too. And all three of you had such lifeless looks in your eyes. Then Jake came back and said it was all my fault and I could've stopped it. And then suddenly, everyone else died too and I couldn't stop the voices. The voices. They wouldn't stop telling me it was my fault."

I brought him into a tight hug, tears filling my own eyes at his pain. I gently rocked us back and forth.

"It's okay. I'm here, I'm alive. Kiri and S/n are alive. We're okay. We're alive, babe, listen." I gently placed his ear against my chest and he sighed at the sound of my heartbeat. "I'm alive." I whispered.

We quietly got back into the hammock and he laid his head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat as I gently played with one of his braids. His breathing slowed as he succumbed to sleep and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes.

"I love you." I whispered one last time as sleep took over.

1/8/23

short chapter because yes.

I have a theory that every writer hates their writing bc holy macaroni, I hate all of it. in my eyes this chapter is shiiiiiiittttttt. but, you guys like them, so I'm giving them to you bc I love you guys, kisses