Everything Changes

Chapter 29: Forgiveness

                                                                  Aria's P.O.V

It felt like I was drowning in a sea of never-ending darkness. I couldn't tell which way was up or down. Where was I? How much time had passed? "I'm so sorry, Aria." The voice sounded faint as if it were far away. But I knew that voice anywhere. Ryder.

He sounded sad, heart broken even. I tried to swim towards his voice, but it was like trying to swim against a current. I wanted to scream and beg for him to help me. Yet nothing was coming out. No matter how hard I tried. "Maybe when you wake up we can go back?"

Go back? Go back where? His words surrounded me. 'Maybe when you wake up?' Was I not awake right now? Was I dreaming? Is this why I felt like I was drifting away? If this was a dream, why did I feel so cold? Everything felt so real. Was I dying?

What was the last thing that I could remember? Nothing. I remembered absolutely nothing. My hand suddenly felt warm. Was he holding it? The warmth felt comforting. As if it were trying to anchor me. He squeezed my hand. I wanted to squeeze back desperately. It was a weak attempt but it took all my strength. It was probably useless... Yet I begged for it to work.

There was silence for a long time. Where did he go? Did he leave? Please don't leave me Ryder. The darkness was threatening to swallow me whole. Panic set in. It felt like I was sinking further.

A pair of lips pressed against my forehead. "Goodbye, Aria Nova." Goodbye? Wait. Ryder please stay with me. His voice faded away, as I tried desperately to hold on. Don't go.

More silence. He was gone. My eyes started to flutter, yet I couldn't fully open them. It was hard to see past the harsh light. It was so bright. As if bright headlights were heading straight for us. There was a distant noise. A voice?

"Aria!" My dad screamed my name. This can't be happening. Please make it stop. I looked at his face. His mouth was moving but I couldn't make out what he was saying. What was he saying? "It's all your fault." Suddenly, Derek was facing me. He repeated what my dad had said. And then Ryder. "It's all your fault." Their words floated around me. Haunting me. Pain gripped my chest tightly.

I could no longer see their faces as the headlights got brighter, completely blinding me. The truck smashed into us. My eyes flew open. My heart was thumping so fast it felt as if it could stop at any moment. I tried to scream or cry, but yet again nothing came out.

Someone grabbed my hand. Ryder? Glancing towards my right. I see my mother sitting there with a concerned, yet relieved look on her face. You could tell she wanted to ask questions but her professional side was winning.

The sounds of a machine beeping behind me caught my attention. Everything was slowly starting to piece together. This was a hospital room. I was in the hospital. My whole body started to shake as panic was starting to take a hold of me. My dads words echoing. "It's all your fault." My dad blamed me.

The beeping sounds started getting louder. My body felt numb as I tried to move. The hospital lights were getting brighter and threatened to drag me back under. My mind was trapped between the past and the present.

The only thing keeping me grounded was my mom holding my hand. It reminded me of the dream from earlier. When Ryder was holding my hand. Thinking about him hurts. All the awful things he said to me came flooding back. His words stung. I wish that part had been a dream. That this was all a dream.

Pain shot through my head. It was becoming overwhelming. My heart was breaking all over again. Everything played like a movie. Each new scene is more painful than the last. Until the final scene plays. Derek. I had caused yet another accident. Accepting his ride and getting into the car with him. Not realizing he was under the influence of something.