Over Thinker

CHAPTER 6

Today I was happy, emphasis on the was, our early morning class got cancelled so it gave me enough time to read for the test, again, I know ,nerd.

The test went well, I think I did very well, I helped people , if you know what I mean.

"Hey, Louis" Diana my course mate Walked up to me with a smile on her face.

"Wassup baby girl" I traded her and her short hight and immediately got a kick on my knee.

"Ow"I welp in pain.

"That's good for you" she said and linked my arm with her's

"So ,how was the test?" I asked as we walked.

"It was great, it was so easy, it's like everything I read came out on the test" she said happily.

"That's good to know" I said with a smile.

As we walked and chatted we came before the science falculty, it's 30feet tall and glass body, gave me goose bumps, the lecturer was around and I had to meet him.

"Are you gonna meet him?" She asked me, it's like everyone knew of the matter and trouble I'm in.

"I think so" I said looking at the ground, I was having doubts going to his office.

"You better, just tell him your sorry, don't even try to defend yourself, just say you are greatly sorry and you never meant to say such things about him" she explained, that was something I was already going to do.

"Yh", I said with a wry smile.

"Is he even around?" She asked.

"I hope so" I wasn't. But i still hope so, he should be around since most lecturers are around.

She followed me into the falculty and stopped some meters from his office door, my heart was beating hard, seeing his open door to view, my mind started thinking, would he listen, is he in the office, those he want to see me, what if he attacks me?

I passed his door without thinking, and Diana looked at me confused, I just gave a wry smile, I was sincerely nervous, I should just get it over with, with all my courage i came before his door and knocked getting his attention.

"Good mornings-" I was cut off.

"Get out, fly away, I don't wanna see your face" he said and I felt hurt. All my hope and confidence to reasoning with him, gone.

Diana rushed to me and stayed by my side.

"What did he say?" She asked.

"He doesn't wanna see me" I simply said.

"Sorry" she said connecting our hands.

"Yh" I said with a wry smile.

"You will go tomorrow, again" she said.

"What?" I was confused, he doesn't want to see my face, why would I go back to him.

"You have to, if he sees your efforts to talk to him, he will listen once" she said. True but I didn't feel like going to him again, I wonder how his class would be if he doesn't want to see my face, will he tell me to leave his class or remove my attendance.

I'll seat at the back of the class , but the class population is small, since most of my course mates haven't resumed, so he will surely spot me out if he wanted to kick me out of his class.

I wondered if I can get another lecture to beg for me, but I don't know any lecturer that would plead for me.

I'm the bad guy in this situation, I'm fucked, I really screwed up.

I feel disappointed, very disappointed at myself, one for my foolish mistake and two, for my inability to do anything about it.

If I was to have a super power, it would be to control time, change every of my stupid mistake, but what would I learn if I changed everything.

I would still be foolish, immature and stupidly cocky, I think I know why people don't have powers because, they would use it for thier own personal gain and ruin others now that they have the ability to do so,and that's not nice or natural. People should get what they want by working for it, taking thier time and gaining experience with time.

I wanna cry but I don't, it's my mistake and I can do nothing about it, in anyway, should I talk to the guy again or chat him up online to tell him I don't want to defend myself but apologize to him and ask for forgiveness, why is everything going south for me, what would my life turn into, what would happen to my grades, will he purposely fail me, just to vanquish his anger, I don't know, that's why I'm looking for forgiveness, my days as a student is over, and test and exams are coming up.

I think I rather get suspended than miss his classes,test and exams, I'm already doomed.

If he could tell me to get away from him, what about his classes, what would I do, should I keep meeting him till he listens to my plea or should I leave him alone, maybe he isn't going to do anything.

My mind is just hazy from regret and disappointment, let's see how the week goes, if he chooses to let me go, fine, if he chooses to make my life a living hell, I'll rather choose to get suspended than for him to hate me.

The thoughts of someone hating me, is just annoying, I can't do anything about it, if it was one of my course mate, I would have talked one on one, anywhere and in a casual way , but I can't talk to this lecturer without sounding rude.

I'll just wait and see, that's what I've been doing, and nothing really changed, I can't wait and see, I have to take control of my own life, I don't want anything that can affect my academics to happen.

I'm not a fan of studying, but good grades is my music, I just can't fail, even if it's one subject, is botany even that important, I can't fail,I can't let his anger and frustration fail me, I just can't let that happen.

This is my life and I choose what I want from it, I make mistakes and I learn from it, I succeed, and I make others succeed with me, this is my life and that's my oath.

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A/N
Depresive Song number 3
IN THE STARS by Benson Boone