Over Thinker

CHAPTER 3

It's the 3rd day of January and im just looking for a distraction to take me off my mind right now, watching anime was helping but I'm not a fan of Japanese language. So I went to my favorite show, FAMILY GUY,I love that fat dude and his crazy son Stewie and it's hard to believe a dog can talk, bit okay.

I downloaded season 4 and started watching my family did as well, I got to one episode and it was literally speaking to me.

On this episode, Meg became a school reporter so she can enter college, and when she came up with a reasonable story, Peter being the oaf he was changed that and gave her a new story without her knowing.

They called a celebrity gay, yes the story gave Meg a scholarship pronto,but she was being sued by the celebrity.

My family grew quiet, and do did I ,I didn't even want to make eye contact with them, knowing it was the same thing I did, that got Meg sued.

In the end of the episode, Meg begged his forgiveness and changed the story but it turned out the guy was actually gay.

I didn't really care about that part, but the suing part came to me, what if the guy wants to sue and I go to prison, I know I'm overreacting but it's true, it could happen.

I researched the lecturer and found alot of things that made my heart skip a bit for a minute.

His name was Christopher akoma, he had a 2nd class degree in botany and had his master's, way before I was even born, like 2 years.

He comes a rich family and got married the year I was born, and had a child of 12 years old, He had so much he had accomplished and I had the audacity to call him gay just from done observation you see in people.

In total he was just in a higher than I was by a long shot and helpless.

I watched other episodes and movies to distract me, they worked but any small chance I had my brain wondered about unnecessary things.

School was just around the corner and I knew I had to prepare myself for the resumption.

Every passing day was a battle for my mental health and it was finalized I was depressed, anxious and all my confidence was shattered.

Why? All because of a minor mistake, a mistake that can do anything to me in the future. I could be in jail, expelled and many more but I don't know, I'm just over thinking things.

I knew my new years resolution was shutting my mouth and finding a hobby, o knew writing was my hobby but I wasn't always inspired and had to do something to take my mind away from reality a moment.

I don't want to overthink and have a panic attack, and to think if it, I have never actually fainted before, I wonder how that's like, but I know I'm not fainting,I hope I don't from over thinking.

I think running can help me with my over thinking problem, it's an exercise I know I can use my mind and body to do, so I have to chance at thinking.

Running helped keep my mind busy but for how long, I only ran 15mins and felt like dying.

And running isn't a hubby, how strange. Why isn't it, I feel even worse knowing my only hobby was either writing or playing Minecraft, but I need inspiration to do those, so how do I do my hobbies now.

I guess I could write about my experience now, in that way I wouldn't think too much about the feature and in that way I could look at my situation on a rational point of view.

So writing it is, I knew my fantasy stories had to wait, another day, while I dealt with my problems first and if writing them down is a huge distraction I would gladly write all day.

4tg of January, I'm writing now, so what do I do, do I talk of myself or keep worrying, I think I'll talk about myself more.

As you know I'm louis, favorite color green, love fantasy stories, that's why I'm a fan of anime and horror, I love putting my ideas out there wish I didn't do so some days ago, but it's in the past.

First born in my nuclear and extended families, so I have alot of people looking up to me, it's not like I'm  that important, I'm practically invisible, except you want me to do something for you, it's not like I like helping I just like being nice, and I have a limit for my niceness.

My friends say I like attention which I think is true in some cases, but I don't really like the spot light, most times I do too much or too little.

I like concept, I think that's why I'm an over thinker, I like reasoning beyond what I see and hear, I just want to know more and want explanation to everything.

Someone like me, I don't like studying but if it's something about what I like i will read it within minutes, expecially history, I love history, African history.

Our ancestors did a alot in thier past, and lived for how long, to get where they are now.

But humanity is full of  terrible things, lies, murder, injustice and many more, humanity should have been extinct a long time ago and left nature as it is, but now we have global warming, deforestation and misleading Faith's.

If we serve one god, why do we have so much religion, is it the fact that we each are looking for something our minds and inner self can be sure of is a true God .

As you see I think alot, like too much.
But I love that about myself as much as I hate it.

We love to hate things.

5th January, I'm going shopping for my school needs, like a clippers books, and many things I need before resuming that can last me the term, like my own bank account, glasses, shoes etc.

I'll leave the glasses since I'm tired from all my shopping, I'm not an out going person and I hate spending money. Please note, MY money.

I know it's technically my mum's but it's in my account, MY money.
Am I hilarious.

I think I'm, I hope I'm, my crush gotta know I'm funny, I like her smile and want to be around her, but I feel like she had someone else in mind and friend zoned me.

I'm not complaining anyway, I don't think I can handle a relationship anyway, I know I have a mature mind and look older than my age, but I'm still a kid.

And the major reason, is I want to concentrate on my books and I may or may not travel out of this country.

I know it's a great country but my dad is out of the country it this will reunite the family if we live together.

My mum and dad have been separate for 10 years, I know it's long and no they are not divorced, he just needs to make money to provide for us.

My mum raised me and my siblings for 10years on her own and even built a house on her name without my dad, that's why I admire her.

Most women would crumble and act all weak but not my mum, I've seen her cry and I've seen her laugh, she us a strong woman and I prefer all women to be like her, not needing a man to survive.

You may say she is living of my dad's wealth,but how many women can build a house on thier own ,raise kids and still be a loyal wife.

I love her, don't tell her.

I always wondered if my life was interesting, well is it.

I have always asked for excitement in my life but nothing like what the last few days showed me.

_________
A/N
Don't tell my mum, okay🤫

Question
Am I really sixteen?
Yes, I'll turn 17 July, that's means a m getting old😳.