At First Blush

Chapter 30

CW: violence, references to abuse and assault

Warm, slightly wet, like he'd just licked his lips. Soft. But wrong. Utterly wrong. Ollie let out a ragged breath as he staggered away from Ben, who's face was pale, his eyes wide. There was no hint of gold in them, and for that, Ollie was grateful. Because he just realized that he was alone, with an Alpha, no one knew where he was, and if Ben had decided to take that impulsive mistake as a carte blanche....

He stumbled over his own feet, slamming his hip against the picnic table, his breath coming short.

"Ollie, hey, breathe with me, okay? Just breathe." Ben knelt next to him, eyes still warm brown and concerned. He didn't reach out to him, didn't try to touch him. He just made himself smaller, and as Ollie clung to the table, the knot in his chest began to ease with each breath he matched to Ben's.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered, eyes filling with tears again. They dripped onto the hard packed dirt, joining dark brown spots. As his hand throbbed, he realized that he'd aggravated the cuts.

"It's okay, shhh, it's okay. Let me see your hand. Okay? Did you hurt yourself?"

Ollie shook his head, but he held out his hand anyway. "I did, but like, I didn't mean to." He glanced at Ben, who was inspecting it closely. He wiped his face with his good hand, and admitted sheepishly, "I punched a school mirror."

Ben glanced up, and grinned. "Badass," he teased, approvingly. Ollie shrugged awkwardly, and looked back to the water.

"I got denied a scholarship because I'm an Omega," he said softly, and Ben went still. His big hand still enveloped Ollie's with gentle warmth.

"I'm sorry."

Ollie nodded, taking deep breaths. "I don't know what to do. I spent my whole life living one way, and now..." he shrugged helplessly.

Ben let go of his hand, slowly standing up straight. "It doesn't look broken, but you will be feeling that." He paused, then sighed. "I can't say I know how you feel, personally, but-" he broke off, pain spasming his face. "M-my boyfriend, was an Omega. He was murdered. So, I kind of get it." He shoved his hands deep into his cargo pockets, and Ollie felt his eyes well up for the Omega.

Ben cleared his throat. "You remind me of him, have I told you that? He was small, he hated it, but I always told him it was so he could fit perfectly against my chest and I could rest my chin on his head." He stared hard into the dirt, his throat moving. "In the end, it didn't matter." His face spasmed into a smile several times before one finally stuck, and he looked up at Ollie. "You need to get back, or you still need to blow some steam off?"

Ollie hesitated, shifting away, his shoulders going back up. "Ummm-"

Ben raised his hands in a peaceful gesture. "No, God, sorry. Skateboard. It helps." He held up his board, and Ollie looked at it. He'd never skateboarded before.

"Sure, why not. And if I die, I die." He decided.

Ben snorted. "I'm not sure if that's the mentality you want, but hey. I'll make sure you'll fall in the grass. Can't have the Doc on my ass about breaking his baby."

Ollie's cheeks went hot, but he frowned. Juls. He needed to talk to him later. They had to figure this stuff out. Hewitt's words, "your, and his career, or your relationship" echoed in his head, making his heart sink.

He shook his head, slapping his hands against his cheeks. He wasn't going to think about it. He was going to get on a board suspended by four wheels and try not to die.