Does being attracted to a transgender woman make a man gay?

Does being Attracted to a Transgender woman make a guy Gay?

Does being attracted to Transgender Women make a straight man gay

July 10, 2021

   "I'm straight! Really I am… I mean.. I love women! I do, but… There's something about a TS that drives me wild!"

            It's a cliché heard all too often, by Trans-women, uttered from surprisingly ordinary hetero men. 

"Guys don't turn me on… I can't imagine doing this with a bearded jock or a hairy, manly dude... But a TS isn't a man. I see them as women. with a little something extra."

            Evidently, that "something extra" comes with the similarly insatiable sexual appetite of a male, minus all the formalities, complexities, and obligatory commitments that are often attached to females. Let's face it… all men are freaks! I personally believe that there isn't a man alive who, whether he'll admit it or not, hasn't fantasized about the taboos of contemporary sex-culture. But allegedly, it's the sense of repulsion by masculinity that most straight men just cannot ignore. But what if you replace the macho-Man attached to the dick, with a female figure??? Evidently, this is something that many heterosexual men find very appealing. So, the question to ask is: Does this make them gay?

         To be gay/homosexual is defined as an attraction to members of the same sex. Though, be aware that we have since come to recognize the concept of gender as something separate from sex. While one's sex is biologically determined, as indicated by primary and secondary sex characteristics (e.g., genitalia, breasts, facial hair, etc.), it is also embedded into our chromosomes (xx,xy); this is Sex. Gender, however, is a psychological, and arguably a social construct, which is defined by internal identification of the self, and it's interplay with societal gender roles. It is influenced by the same factors which determine contemporary notions of normalcy, such as historical era, geography, culture, and the authoritative powers who rule over the population within a given society. Gender is mutable and can vary from place to place, even at the same time. The best analogy I can think of, to put the gender concept into an accurate perspective, is to say: Gender is to biological Sex as Race is to Ethnicity. Race is a social construct, that is reasonably argued not to exist at all. This notion is obviously validated in hindsight when we remember the days of racial segregation in America, wherein each state had its own laws regarding civil rights. Race was one of the most significant determinant factors concerning how these laws were applied to individuals. Additionally, each state had its own statutes and legal definitions, which explicitly outlined what constitutes a person "of color." So, imagine you're of mixed ethnicity, consisting of a black grandmother, a mother who was half black/white, and a white father; living near the south border of a northern state where someone has to be >50% black to be considered "colored"... and then move a mile down road, across the state-line into a southern state where someone who has any amount of black ancestry is considered a person of color... Wow! How different life can be just down the road! Simply traveling a mile down the road has stripped away many Civil Rights that you have always been entitled to. This example goes to show how race, a social construct, is what we collectively decide it is, regardless of what ethnicity runs through our veins. The social and psychological concept of gender is essentially very similar. Since the worldwide spread of euro-Christian ideology, gender roles have been rigidly defined and enforced throughout most cultures.

          In the untainted Native American cultures, gender was regarded as being more significant than biological sex. As such, the Native Americans had 3rd and 4th genders within their societies. Called by many indigenous words, they mostly equate to "two-spirit." A feminine man would act, dress, work, and live life as a woman, and if she took a husband, he was not considered to be gay. And if biological females wore men's clothing, hunted and fought with the men, and took a wife, they were not considered lesbians; because the natives acknowledged the gender of an individual over their biological sex. Today, we live in a democracy which collectively struggles to value each individual as equal under the law. Modern America strives to respect and honor all beliefs and identities, yet the Native Americans had the answers the whole time; it was stomped-out... extinguished.

          Are self-identified heterosexual males who are attracted to transgender women gay? No. They're not. 

        A way to understand and ideally adopt this notion is to alter one's belief system in which gender and sex dissociate. How can we have a fresh, modern perspective of gender identity that harmonizes with beliefs and stigmas regarding sexual orientation? By understanding sexual orientation differently. In terms of sexual orientation, it would serve us better to employ the terms Androphilia and Gynephiila. Someone who is Androphilic is attracted to men/masculinity, while someone who is gynephilic is attracted to women or femininity. Masculinity and femininity can manifest in any individual regardless of their biological sex. 

ANDROPHILIC vs GYNOPHILIC

             Transgender women, who often overcompensate for the fact that they weren't born female, exaggerate their degree of displayed femininity; as such, some of the most beautiful women in the world are not female. 

Interplay of Sex, Gender & Orientation

Is it particularly odd to discover that a straight (gynephilic) man is aroused by such a woman? I can't tell you how many straight (androphilic) women I've known to fall head over heels for a masculine (gynephilic) woman. These studs provide quality emotional and mental connections with her, as well as better cunnilingus than any man could. Though, no one seems to permanently label these women as gay/ lesbian, or even bisexual.  So why does it so often happen that, when a female learns that a man has been with a trans-woman, she assumes he's gay? This double standard in society is unfair. Furthermore, women seldom realize the amount of pressure that men are under to maintain a macho image. Men cannot cry, they cannot acknowledge the attractiveness of another man, they can't slip their dipsticks into a pretty tranny every now and then without the fear of some women peeking over their shoulder to criticize them by saying "What are you gay or something?" Men are expected to show no traits of physical or emotional weakness; lest they be labeled a fag, a pussy, or any other adjectives that strip them of their title as a "Man." This mentality and social pressure perpetuates much of the aggressive “toxic masculinity” that the feminist culture bitches about.            
Furthermore, not only does it perpetuate "toxic masculinity," but it undermines efforts towards gender equality, and treats men unfairly. Moreover, it indirectly treats trans women unfairly by maintaining a social structure that keeps them marginalized.  

            It would be useful to adopt a model of sexual orientation that is goal-oriented instead of based on genitalia. Wouldn't you agree that the human race deserves to evolve past that? A model of orientation that focuses on the entirety of one's preferences, is a much more accurate assessment of sexual orientation; it is more representative of the diversity that exists within contemporary society. To progress as a civilization, we have reinvented the way we think regarding medicine, technology, communication, psychology, civil rights, law, etc; yet we hold on to the same archaic, sex-based conceptualization of identity and romantic preference. Our world is more diverse than ever before; because diversity is ever-increasing with each passing year, and generation. To adapt, we must become divorced from traditional ideas, and concepts of sexual orientation and sexuality; and embrace sexual orientation diversity. 

References

Androphyilia-gynephilia. (2011) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Androphilia-gynephilia.png

AnonMoos, Bazi (Martin Strachon) (2011). https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gynephilia-androphilia-heterosexual-homosexual_orientations_diagram.png