The Fanfiction

EPISODE 4

Jermina had awoken in his living room in a mountain of beer bottles. He looked around and realized that he had been asked out the night before, there was hope that he could keep his home! Then his hand shot out and slapped the television that was all the way across the room, god knows how far his arms could stretch. Anyway Jermina ran to the shower that he hadn't touched in 4 years. That would explain his gangrene sac that he named Bartharmelmew. He gently stoked Bartharmelmew and then rough. He went in the shower and turned the water on. He heard a giant creak and realized that the water in his house hadn't been used in 4 years either. He put his hand under the faucet and expected water to come out. Instead a giant blaze of gasoline exploded out of the faucet. He then wondered how he was alive. He instead found a 3 year old bottle of shampoo from his closet and took out his pocket knife and violently stabbed the bottle. The pressure of the bottle exploded and got shampoo everywhere.

He wiped himself off and threw himself on the floor, set a timer for the time of his date which I forgot and I am too lazy to look back in the contents and find out the time. 30 minutes before the time of his date he got in his truck and met this lady that he had met a night before at a fancy restaurant that I can't name due to copyright reasons. Anyway when he got there he recognized the girl he met last night in a far corner. He approached her and she said "Hello" while Jermina said "Bagggggg". They sat down and Jermina stared at her chest. "One, two needs to go peekaboo!" Jermina said. She then yanked her shirt down and bra. Then Jermina exploded. He woke up in a room he didn't recognize, he smelled sex and cocaine in the air. He was on a memory foam mattress and he had a thong across his forehead, it smelled of mustard. Then suddenly the female he met walked into the room, she sat down on the mattress and said "this is my home, and my name is Katia, sleepytime now." She then took out a steel pan and slammed it upon Jerminas' head. He passed out.