Logan was tired of waiting, and frustrated too. He was exhausted, irritable and short tempered, and he snapped and took it out on Pete.
He looked exactly like he felt...there were dark circles around his eyes from lack of sleep, his eyes were bloodshot from his newfound alcoholism and stubble darkened his face.
He ran his palms over his face and sighed. He wasn't good at this love stuff...he didn't know how long was too much or too little time for Carlos to be ready to see him again.
Two weeks? A month? A few years?
He turned on his phone and added to the long list of blue messages to Carlos. It showed the Delivered tag, but just like all the rest, was not read.
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"Fuck this," he muttered as he stood up and grabbed his coat. He jogged down the stairs, got into his car and drove to Carlos' apartment building. His thumb hovered over the faulty intercom...someone in the building had to buzz him in for the gate to open.
He leaned idly against the wall and waited as an old woman spoke into the machine. The gate slid open and he slipped her $100 to let him through.
He jogged up the stairs to Carlos' apartment and knocked. The door opened and he sagged. Carlos stood in the doorway in a black T-shirt and grey sweatpants, and he didn't look like he was in any pain.
He looked great...infact, he was smiling and soft music was playing inside.
"Oh, Logan. It's you," he said, before he shut his eyes and shook his head.
Maybe he was expecting someone else? Had he gone back to his former job? Logan slammed a lid over these thoughts and smiled.
"Can I come in? Can we please talk?" Logan begged, his arrogant, collected air thrown completely out the window.
"Maybe not just yet?" Carlos choked out and started to close the door. But Logan stopped it with his foot.
"Please, Carlos. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind over this," he whispered and Carlos gave in.
Carlos bit his lip and looked at Logan.
"Can I get you a coffee? Water? Anything? You don't look too good, no offense, and I don't think you've slept much--are you hangover?" he put his hand over his mouth to stop himself.
Logan chuckled, and for a second, the tension left him.
"What?" Carlos asked and perched himself lightly on the opposite end of the sofa.
"You hate me, and yet you still care so much about me. You're a wonderful person," Logan said and crossed his legs.
"That's corny. And...I don't hate you, Logan."
"Then please, please forgive me, Carlos. Please," Logan's voice broke with something he didn't recognize.
Carlos folded his arms across his chest and stared emptily at the opposite wall.
"I... Logan, it's not that easy. You really hurt me and my family," he said weakly and blinked back tears.
"I'm horrible for that. And you want to know something? I feel even worse now than I did before this whole thing. I have stolen my chance at the love I deserve from my life," Logan replied softly, reached his hand towards Carlos and then pulled it back.
A silence settled between them, with only the muffled sound of music coming from the bedroom.
"Did you mean it?" Carlos asked suddenly, and looked at Logan. "All the times you told me you loved me...did you ever mean it?"
Logan nodded vehemently.
"With all my heart, Carlos. I don't know how to be without you in my life...I'm a mess, and I'm turning to some not very... acceptable coping habits."
Carlos wrinkled his nose and sighed. "Logan, I've tried to hate you, but I can't. I'm so stupidly in love with you it hurts me physically to be apart from you. But I can't just...forget. I can't pretend nothing happened."
"I'm not asking you to pretend, Carlos. I'm not. Remember you told me we can't just ignore our problems? We have to talk about them? To open up? Carlos, can you please just give me another chance? At least hear my version of the story?" Logan closed the distance between them and held Carlos' hands in his. He didn't pull away.
"That won't change anything. At the end of the day you still lied to me, manipulated me and took my feelings for granted. And you did not trust me enough to tell me after. You tried to protect yourself by keeping me locked up... I-- I'm not a fucking toy, Logan." he cut off to catch his breath and somehow suddenly registered Logan's hands on his. He pulled away like he had touched live wire.
"Carlos, I'd take all that back if I could. I don't know how to show you how sorry I am. I hate myself for it everyday, trust me," his eyes glazed over with tears and he sniffled.
Was he genuine? Carlos did not know. He had seen him pretend to be in love... shedding a few tears was child's play in comparison.
"Let me think it over for a bit first, okay?" Carlos said lightly, kindly and patted him on his bicep.
Logan nodded and stood up. Carlos showed him out, hugged him, and pecked his cheek.
His heart exploded.
We're almost done here. I don't think it will end like you guys want it to, though. Tell me in the comments how you think it should end and as always
Vote, comment and share ):)
P.S, I know I said I would stop being chatty but oh well. Anyways last one. Fr.😆
