The strength to resist

Chapter 5- Late night talking

Jonathan took me to my room but I couldn't fall asleep. So I decided to walk around.

I found stairs and climbed higher and higher, not knowing where it was taking me. I reached a door and opened it. I landed on the rooftop of the hotel. The sky was so dark and only the moon was shining.

Somebody was lying on the roof. I recognized the blond hair in the moonlight. I have waited months for this moment. The moment when we could talk alone and in peace.

Arthur startled up. "Darcy." He remarked.

"Hi." I said and lay down next to him.

He didn't seem to care that I was there.

Maybe he was thinking? We looked up at the sky in silence.

"You are still a prisoner. You had no right to leave the camp. And you go into the forest with Jonathan just like that..." he said upset.

"What do you think of me?", I asked.

"I don't know what to think of you anymore." He stated.

I was even more out of breath as I climbed the stairs.

"How dare you accuse me of that? You're just jealous because I did something with another boy! Ugh grow up, we're not in high school anymore." I replied angrily.

"I've been waiting for you my whole life. But I was never good enough. And I'm tired of playing second. I'm tired of you always coming back to me when you're bored or need attention because dear Ezra did something that didn't please you.

The night of the explosion I really thought we could work things out." He said.

I knew exactly what moment he was refering to.

***flashback***
This night should have been perfect. It was the night of our school ball but Ezra and I had been arguing all night. They weren't our usual ones. We had a real fight. I needed to get some fresh air.

Arthur was standing on the balcony of the ballroom and I joined him. We looked up at the night sky and he explained to me what stars could be seen.

I shivered and he took me in his arms. I laid my head on his chest. He stroked my arm.

"How can you be so warm?", I asked him.

"I have to tell you something..." He said. I turned around and looked at him in his blue eyes.

"I'm listening to space boy."

And then my favorite music played. My eyes lit up. "Arthur come on! Dance with me!" I screamed with delight.

He shook his head. "You're here with Ezra, you should go back in." He looked down at the floor.

"Hey it was totally worth it! Now I know how four star constellations are called!" I said proudly.

He grinned.

"If you ever want to dance with me, I'll be on the dance floor." I said and went back in.

"Darcy! Wait!" he called out and I turned around. He ran to me and kissed me without hesitation. We paused and looked eachother in the eyes. My heart was racing like never before.I leaned over and kissed him again. It felt like I was floating.

It felt like we could travel to the stars he had shown me before. Maybe we could escape to one of them and never come back.

***end of flashback***

"I was stupid enough to wait for you again. And when you didn't came I went out looking for you. And you came right back to Ezra." He said disapointed.

"A month after the explosion, I went to Highland because I knew you were there. But by the time I got there, you were gone. I was only going to stay a few days and then keep looking for you and my brother. But I stayed with Ezra because itw as easy there. And days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months... "

He didn't say anything. Was he pleased? Shocked? Disgusted? I couldn't tell, and it was eating me up from the inside out.

"But I think it's a mistake. I am sorry that we kissed that night. I really kind of like you. But I don't know if I love you anymore like back then..."

"Wait, what do you mean kind of ? I can believe this. You were only toying around with me. Ezra is a monster. You're one, too." He stood up and I did the same.

"Please. I know an apology won't fix this..." I pleaded.

"Then don't say anything." he said and left.

"Hey! Do I need to remind you that you kissed me first?" I shouted after him. But he didn't responded and slammed the door shut.

I was more angry than anything. I was angry at Arthur for saying the things he said. I was angry at myself because I thought Arthur would understand.