My Mine (Trey Burke Fan Fiction)

Chapter Five

Janice.

Fearless.. I am fearless. There's nothing that could stop me from doing anything I don't want to and there's nobody that could intimidate me. I keep replaying that in my mind but then I got deeper with you; that's when fearless became terrified. I love you, I don't even know if I could express how much. Love scares me and the fact that I'm deep in it doesn't make it any better. If anything I needed you to help me.. Help me get over my fear.

August 20th 2012

The most frightening thing is you and me.

I haven't talked to Trey in weeks and it's been killing me. The fact that he hasn't tried to call me either made it even worse. After that day at Mama B's, I couldn't face him. The look on his face when I couldn't tell him I love him still hunts me. I wouldn't know what to say if I was to see him anytime soon.

Sighing softly, I rested my body against the plush pillows of my couch as I started my own session. Lately weed was the only thing that would calm my nerves, but it did nothing but made me think more about Trey. Around this time I wish I had someone to confide in. Me and females barley got alone, so besides Trey I only had my friend Symone who lives in Florida. I thought about texting her but it was going on two in the morning. I'm left to deal with these feelings alone and I was fine with that. Grabbing my phone, I slowly scrolled through my contacts stopping at Trey's name. I wanted so badly to talk to him. I just wanted to hear his voice.  To be honest I needed him here with me, in my bed holding me to him like he usually do. I knew I couldn't do that. The fact that I know for sure that he love another girl just drives me crazy but that doesn't stop me from wanting him, from needing him here. He loves her but he can't love her more than me. Shaking my head, I quickly locked my phone and took a long pull of my blunt. I needed to relax and just stop thinking all together.

The more the weed filled my lungs the deeper my high got. By now I just wanted to be in bed, but the way my laziness was set up I knew I might pass out on this couch. Closing my eyes, I slowly felt myself drifting to sleep before there was a knock on my door. I glanced at my phone seeing that is was 2:30 in the morning. I wasn't going to answer until my phone lit up indicating that I had a text.

I stared at the text as my heart slightly skipped a beat. He was outside my door and I didn't know if I was happy or not about that. Slowly, I got up and took my time opening the door. My eyes connected to his as soon as he was in sight quickly making me look away. I wasn't ready to see him, I'm not prepared.

"Can I come in?" His voice was raspy yet deep as I nodded and slowly stepped to the side to let him in. My eyes stayed on his back profile. I was still taking in the fact that he was here, in my house. Sitting down, he let his hand run down his face before her looked over at me. He looked tired and irritated all at the same time.  Licking over his lips he told me to sit down before he started getting comfortable against the couch. I sat in my previous spot, which was a few inches from where he was sitting, and tucked my feet under me. I didn't know why he was here and him being here had me on the edge.

It was silent for about 30 minutes before I decided to speak. I was tired of the glances and the sighs. I just want to know one thing.

"Why are you here?

"I can't be here now?" His smart mouth made me instantly roll my eyes. Siting up straight against the couch I turned to face him. His eyes were closed as his head rested against the back of the couch.  I let my eyes wonder over him, stopping at the small open cuts on his knuckles. Quickly and softly, I grabbed his hand examining it closer. He glanced at me before closing his eyes again and moving his hand out my grip instantly causing a frown to spread across my face. I tried reaching again before his voice slightly startled me.