starlit skies | kazubajifuyu

first we feel, second we fall: five

Things have been going pretty well. Your grades increased, and you made it into your class' top ten. Your club activities helped you a lot in deciding which degree to pursue, but you're torn about what to do. You don't want to leave Chifuyu, but you also want to be the woman who can proudly stand beside him.

Standing with a tray of tea and biscuits in your hand, you knocked on the door of his study room before going inside. "Here's your tea, sensei. After I finish the laundry, I'll go to the grocery store to buy some ingredients for our lunch."

Chifuyu removed his glasses and looked at you, smiling widely. "You don't have to force yourself, y/n. Go out with your friends. It's the weekend, so spend your day as a high school student. I'll be fine."

"I don't have any plans with my friends today, sensei, and besides, I'd rather spend my free time here with you than play around."

"Look, y/n. I won't force you if that's what you want, but what I'm trying to say is that you're worrying too much about me, and it's stopping you from having a good time. I know you're holding back because of your responsibilities as my wife, but I'm fine, I promise! Do you want me to arrange a girl's date with Baji's wife? You can also shop for clothes that you can use in Uni," he said, grabbing his wallet and taking a black card out.

"Here, use this. Buy whatever you want. I heard girls like to get their hair and nails done."

You stare at his card and then return your gaze to him. He's genuinely smiling, and it makes your heart melt. It's not about the money or how he showers you with material stuff. It's about how he thinks about you, considering your feelings in every situation, and how he makes you feel like you are a human who deserves to be treated with respect.

You don't know what happened, but your body moved on its own, and you hugged him.

"I'm fine staying here with you, sensei. I feel safe here."

Chifuyu froze in his seat and dropped the card. He was tempted to hug you back, but he stood his ground that he's your guardian and you're his student. That's why, rather than hugging you, he patted your head like a kid.

"You're a nice kid, y/n. Thank you for thinking about me."

His sincere words, his kindness, and the way he thinks of other people before himself... This made you decide what you want to pursue after graduation... You want to stay by his side, no matter what.

But why do you feel that it's hard? Why did he keep drawing this line between the two of you? Is it the age gap? Does he not see you as a woman? Are you not his type? or... Does he like someone else?

"Why can't you love me back, sensei? I know I'm much younger than you, but I can prove that I can be a good wife. Please, take a chance on me."

Chifuyu didn't speak, and after a while, you just heard him sigh. "You're important to me, y/n, I mean it, but I can't see you anything more than my student, I am sorry."

It hurts. It hurts you so much that tears stream down your face, but that will not stop you from loving him. You've been hurt all your life, and you can still endure more. If it's for Chifuyu, you are ready to endure everything. Just wait until I prove to you that this is not a passing feeling... that what I feel is really genuine. Just wait for me, sensei.

After releasing the hug, Chifuyu panicked upon seeing you cry. "Ah! I'm sorry! Were my words too harsh? I didn't mean to hurt you, y/n. I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, torn between wiping your face with his hand or finding a handkerchief.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "I am fine, Sensei. I'm just..." You paused, exhaling loudly. "You're such a great man. You're kind, caring, and selfless. I hope one day I can prove to you that what I feel is not mere infatuation." You smiled and glanced at the clock. "Ah! The oven!" you exclaimed, taking a step back. "I'll go check the brownies I'm baking. I'm sorry for burdening you with these feelings, Sensei," you said, bowing before leaving the room.