Beastly House

Chapter 4

 "Hello, Mrs. Hood," Flix said.

There was a lull in the afternoon. No activities had been scheduled. Flix was sitting in the shade of a very large tree, taking advantage of any hint of breeze that might waft across the lawn.

"There you are! I am trying to get a game of bridge together. Flix, are you in?"

"Bridge? Oh, madam, I am afraid I do not know how to play. Thank you, but I must decline. My interest has always been in other things. My work, I am afraid. It is all consuming. No time for games."

"There is always time for games! What kind of work do you do? It must be very backbreaking, common labor, or you must be employed by a very hard taskmaster. Do tell me what interests you so that you have no time for cards."

"Lepidoptery."

"Oh, Flix, that sounds positively evil. Perhaps, I should try it."

"I assure you, there is nothing evil involved.

My life's work is studying butterflies and moths. In particular, I am studying the white-lined sphinx moth. It is a fascinating creature, able to hover over the blossoms of delicate flowers. It sips nectar with a long curled tube at its mouth called a proboscis. Because of its ability to hover above the blossoms, it is often mistaken for a hummingbird. Thus, it is known as the hummingbird moth. Its wingspan is quite large. And its body is thick. I can see how it could easily be mistaken for a hummingbird."

"Totally underwhelming. Lepi . . ."

Mrs. Hood's tongue simply refused to wrap itself around so many syllables. And now that she knew its meaning, the very word seemed uncivilized.

"Oh, but it is not underwhelming at all, Mrs. Hood. Those creatures are as varied and as interesting as humans. I assure you. We can learn so much from Nature, if we will but open our eyes and observe. And I am also enthralled by the plants of this world. So many. So varied."

"How on earth could such boring subjects take up all your time? You'll never get a floozy to love you troozy with such tedious hobbies! A chippy wants to hear sweet nothings whispered in her ear. Not a lecture on bed bugs and stink weeds!"

This last remark came from George, who was being pushed passed the two in a wheelchair by a sparkling, white-clad orderly.

"George!" Mrs. Hood pleaded. "Please. You can be so appalling!"

George was laughing gleefully. He loved nothing better than to stir Mrs. Hood's dander.

"Oh, Little Red Riding Hood-Hoodle-Whoo! Don't let the needle whet your wheedle. Doodle-doo! Ha! Ha!"

"Sorry, sir. Excuse us, madam," mumbled the orderly.

"Your friend has quite a unique way with phrases, Mrs. Hood," Flix said.

"Oh, George is no friend of mine, I can assure you. I mean, they say he is a war hero, but there's hardly anything heroic about him! Look at him! Poor creature. Stuck in that chair. We try to make exceptions because of his condition, but sometimes, he goes out of his way to be unpleasant. Depending on his mood, his barbs can seem especially wicked and cruel. I think the poor man despises women! If you think what he just said is particularly base, you should hear the vicious things he says to Avery! I do not care for the girl either, but the things he says to her are especially nasty. I am no saint, Flix, and I enjoy throwing out a cutting barb as much as the next, for the shock value, you know, but even I am stunned, at times, by what comes out of George's mouth. I will have to give Avery her due, though. She gives as good as she gets. I sometimes think those two despise each other. Avery comes from very good stock, you know. I wonder if George is smitten with her, but being a cripple, he couldn't possibly hope to win her."