Playing for keeps

16. Maternal replacement

E A S T O N

My shift at the animal shelter ended twenty minutes ago, but I make no attempt to move the purring ball of fluff from my lap.

The kitten room is peaceful this time of night, when the shelter is closing and there's not much workers or people looking to adopt milling about.

Cecile and Willis, the owners, don't believe in locking the animals up in cages like most animal shelters and have designated rooms for each type of animal to sleep in.

The kitten room is always the quietest.

The room has two dozen cat beds scattered across the floor, each cat having their own personal bed, some of them sharing because they like to, and some are lounging on the top of the scratch posts.

Duchess, a small little white kitten, sleeps happily on my lap as I continue to stroke through her fur in a calming pattern.

She's the newest edition to the shelter, a young couple having found her in a cardboard box on the side of the road while they stopped to take pictures because it was their honeymoon road trip. They seemed nice and loved up.

Usually, the shelter is one of my happy places, but today I'm out of sorts and have been since Luca dropped me off after we hung out.

I blame Kaleb for my bitter mood, for making my happy place contain thoughts of him. 

When I'd returned from the bathroom, the Vipers, minus Kaleb, had seemed to win over Luca and talked as if they had been best friends for years.

It was concerning because a guy like Luca, sweet and thoughtful, should most definitely not be friends with someone who is a member in a mafia.

The memory of the diner this afternoon flood back into my brain, just when I had managed to erase it all.

I nearly groan out loud, but remember the sleeping kitten on my lap. 

So, instead of acting out my feelings with groans and burying my head in my arms, I process them, something I haven't managed to do yet.

When I emerged from the bathroom in the diner, Kaleb had caught me off guard and did something that was so out of character, that I have to convince myself I didn't dream it.

He's cold, confusing and rude. He's cruel, that's the only word that seems to describe him, that fits him. Because why else would he push me up against a wall and silence me with a kiss. The only explanation that I can come up with is that he's trying to mess with me, confuse me and mess with my feelings.

That's what guys like Kaleb do. They fuck you up so bad, mentally and physically, that there's no escaping or overcoming him.

Maybe it's payback from the night we first met. Maybe he still isn't over me hitting him over the head with my cleat. Because what else could he possibly be peeved about?

The only other explanation is that he actually likes me, which is crazy and absurd and totally not possible. Never in a million years could Kaleb like me, not possible.

But if he did, what would I do? Hypothetically, if he liked me, if the possibility happened, what would I do, what would I say, how would I react?

Do I like him back? That's the question I need to ask myself. 

Like I said, he's cruel and definitely not someone I should like romantically, or even in a platonic way. And he's a Viper, I'm not. Our lives don't fit together. 

I make an effort to disassociate myself from the world my brothers are involved in and I'm thinking about possibly liking someone also involved in that fucked up world. Seriously? I need to get a hold on this before it develops into something I can't come back from.