Playing for keeps

34. The aftermath

E A S T O N

Every moment, every touch, and every damn kiss replayed in my mind like a broken record, tormenting me, squeezing my heart like a metal fist with no way to breathe.

It hurt. It all hurt. And it shouldn't hurt. It's not like Kaleb was my boyfriend, he's free to do anything he wishes to do. But it doesn't ease the dark grey cloud that's followed me around like a shadow for the last week since that stupid ball.

I finish clearing up at the shelter, organizing new donations of toys and food, not caring that my shift ended thirty minutes ago. Since it's a Saturday, I've spent the whole day here.

I'm in the middle of stacking boxes of toy donations in the storage cupboard when Willis pops his head in. "Go home, kid," he smiles before heading down the hall toward the animals.

My whole body aches from lifting heavy boxes for the past few hours, so I gladly stack the last box and head off to grab my bag.

"Hey, hon," Cecile smiles at me from the front desk, passing me my backpack from behind. Worry etches her face like it has since I got here. "Is everything okay? You've been awfully quiet since you got here."

I plaster on a smile that feels fake, makes me grimace inside. "Yeah, just school stress."

Cecile doesn't buy it, eyeing me over the rim of her glasses with an arched brow. I really hope she doesn't probe any further, because each time someone has asked me if I was alright this week, I almost burst out in tears. 

"Is it that boy?" she pried.

"What boy?" I frowned, pulling on my jacket.

She failed to hide her smile. "The one that's been waiting outside for the past hour and thirty minutes."

My eyes widened, my head whipping to look through the glass doors behind me. Sure enough, Kaleb's sleek black sports car was right outside the entrance, Kaleb leaning against the hood.

The familiar squeezing feeling returned to my chest as I surveyed him. His hair was messier than usual like he had run his hand through it multiple times. His short-sleeved black t-shirt showed off his muscular biceps, covered in black ink, arms crossed against his chest. His face was neutral, examining his surroundings.

My chest squeezed tighter as I tore my gaze away from him.

"He's pretty, that one," Cecile nodded to Kaleb. "Everyone always likes the bad boy," she huffs a laugh.

My face tightened. "Yeah, maybe. It isn't always the right choice though," I sighed, shouldering my backpack.

There are feelings here other than the need to just fuck you.

His words from weeks ago echo in my head, one of the many that I've replayed through the week. 

Every conversation is etched into my brain, burned into my memory. Replaying in my head to torment me, to remind me of the person he pretended to be to me, to get into my pants I don't know.

"See you next week, CeCe." I wave goodbye and head out, my heart hammering in my chest.

The bell above the front door rings and get's Kaleb's attention as I walk out, his head whipping to face me.

For a moment, I just stand there in front of the closed door. Staring at him, he stares at me. All the hurt, all the replayed conversations, and the grey cloud of darkness all come rushing at me at once.

My legs itch to just go to him, to hold him like I did at the beach, to feel the warmth and safety of his hold around me.

But amongst those memories of us, all the good moments that made me feel is that image of him and Lexi, pressed together in that hall.