Kept Alive

The Cellar

"Wrong answer pet". Before I have a moment to think, red bolts come flying out of her wand and they hit me where I am laying on the ground. A thousand knives once again pierce my chest. The pain is unbearable. I don't know what to say. I don't know where they are. All of our safe spots were discovered by the death eaters. Suddenly the cellar doors burst open, and another death eater walks into the room. "Bellatrix, the dark lord would like to see you." When he gets closer, I can tell it is Lucius Malfoy. His long blonde hair resting on his shoulders, his cane in his hand. The pain in my body stops once her concentration is broken.

But I am left there cold, hurt, and betrayed. Every time Bellatrix comes down here it is the same question. And every time I give her the same answer. I have no idea where they are. How could I know. I wasn't with them when they escaped, nor did we have a specific meeting place. They had abandoned me. Even if I make it out of here alive, I am never going back to them.

Bellatrix turns to leave, and Lucius does the same. But before he leaves, he kicks me hard in the ribs, his boots breaking one of my ribs as I cry out in pain. Bellatrix just laughs before exiting the cellar, leaving me alone.

Completely alone. I try to sit up, but it is too painful. My ribs are causing an excruciating pain. As if being the target of the cruciatus curse every day wasn't bad enough, now I have broken ribs. I lift my head enough to look around at where I am, as I had done every day. Every day I try to think of a way to escape and every time I fail. It's useless. I am useless. I think as I start to cry. As I sob no tears come out.

The cellar was dark, no light to be seen anywhere but from the doors where one dim yellow light hung, casting nothing but shadows into the area I occupied. If only there were others down here. If only I wasn't alone in my suffering. How selfish was I? To wish that there were others being tortured like me only so that I wasn't alone. But maybe if I wasn't alone, I wouldn't be so scared of everything going on. Maybe if I wasn't alone, I wouldn't be getting tortured everyday with the same damn curse.

I am alone for what seems like forever when it was probably about a few hours. I can hear the clicking of heels in the distance. Click clack click clack. I know what this means. The same thing as it had always meant. I need to brace myself for pain. The steps get faster and louder as they draw near and nearer. They sound as if they have a purpose. I am the purpose. Questioning me, torturing me, seems to always be the purpose.

She stands in the doorway, the dim yellow light casting a glow onto the brunette's face. Standing there, I finally see something other than madness in her. For the first time I see beauty. I admire the way her jaw is structured and the way her eyes gleam with cruelty. She is the maddest person I have ever met, but for the first time, I am finally seeing beauty in the madness.

What is wrong with me. I can't be having these thoughts. She has been torturing me nonstop for the past whoever knows how long. She is insane, not filled with beauty. I try my best to remind myself. There is no way a woman like her would ever be beautiful. We make eye contact, and I can feel a distinct heat start to rise to my cheeks. Why the hell am I blushing. Even if she is pretty, she is the bad guy. There is no way in hell I can like her. But then she starts walking towards me. Once again, a purpose in her steps. Luckily the darkness will hide the newfound color in my cheeks. She gets closer to me. The woman is standing almost on top of me, but I can't move. The pain in my ribs is too great for me to try to run away from her as I have done in the past.

"Look at you. Itty bitty baby, Silver. Afraid to move away. Afraid to scream for help." She begins. I'm not afraid. I think to myself. I am just in too much pain and have found out that nothing will work. Nothing will get me out of the mess that Harry and my other so-called friends left me in. Again, that hopeful voice comes out, saying that I need to give them a chance. But this time, I push it away. I have given them chances. Everyday. But I am still locked here. I am still trapped with this woman. They aren't coming to rescue me. They are probably having fun on their own. The three of them, as it should have been. I had no place in that friend group. I didn't contribute anything. I was useless. That is why they have left me here. My thoughts get more violent towards myself. But I deserve it for coming along with them into danger. Again. I should have learned the first time when we went on the mission to get the Sorcerer's Stone. I almost died that day.

 I am shaking under Bellatrix, afraid of the pain I know to expect. Then her next words shock me. "Now the Dark Lord has ordered me to bring you to him." She starts. What could the Dark Lord possibly want with me? I think before she continues. "But I think that I am going to have some fun first." A devilish smirk appears on her face almost hidden by the darkness. She points her wand at me. But then, she hesitates for a minute. That is unlike her. She has never hesitated before. This cruel woman has to have thought of something worse to do to me. I need to brace myself.

She gets down on the ground and pins me to my spot. Despite the pain in my ribs, I fight against her. Though I am inferior to her strength, I do my best to free myself. However, it proves impossible with the state I am in. She slaps me in the face, and I stop.

I lay there in shock as she takes out her knife. In every encounter I had with her, never once did she use her hands against me. It was always her wand. "Filthy little half-blood" She whispers harshly into my ear. Then I feel it. I feel her knife being dug into my skin. Over and over again.

At first, I try not to scream but that became increasingly difficult with every cut she made. "Ahh" I cry out. "Be quiet pet!" She raises her voice at me. Not for my sake but for hers.

It feels as though she is trying not to get caught. But why?

The pain keeps coming despite my quiet pleas for her to stop. When she was done, she sat up. Still on top of me, she looks at her work. No not looks, admires. I look down to see what she had done. I am in shock. Written in blood on my skin is the word Half blood. A tear threatens to fall. "Now you will always know your place you half blood."

Bellatrix gets off me and grabs my arm violently. It's as if that is the only way she knows how. Maybe it is. Maybe her whole life she had only known violence. After all, evil isn't born, it's made. I think to myself. Why the fuck am I defending her. All she has ever done is hurt me. First, I think she is very beautiful. Then I start to defend her? Merlin's beard, what is wrong with me? I am lost in thought when she tries to bring me out of the cellar. My ribs ache and I feel as though I can't walk.

That's when she does something unexpected. She places her hand on my waist and pulls my arm over my head to help me walk. When she does that, I feel a sort of energy between us. It brings a feeling I haven't felt since I had gotten here. Safe. How can I feel safe in the arms of my captor? How can I feel safe in the hands of the woman who has been torturing me? None of this makes sense. But I don't protest.

"I have a better idea." Bellatrix speaks after walking a few feet with her arm around my waist. Then she does something unexpected and almost kind. Instead of practically carrying me back to Voldemort, Bellatrix recites the spell to mend my broken bones while pointing her wand at my chest. The pain I was feeling vanishes with a feeling of warmth replacing it. Oh, how I could get used to that feeling.

She grabs my arm again, gently this time, and leads me out of the cellar. Now I have to brace myself to see the Dark Lord.