Kept Alive

The Nightmare

Bellatrix has fallen asleep on the bed, and I am still laying on the floor as she had instructed me to do. The events of earlier continue to play through my mind. "I want him to suffer just as he forced me to suffer. I want him to feel my pain. And I want to watch as his friends grieve over his death. I was never their friend. They always excluded me. Never treated me the same as the others. Just like my own mother. She treated me like dirt because of what I am, and I hate her for what she was. A muggle." Is all of that true? Do I really want Harry Potter dead for what he had done to me? I search deep within myself to find the answer.

Somehow, it is yes. All those years spent at his side fighting for him and he never once fought for me. None of them did. I defended everyone else but when it came to it, none of them actually cared about me. They let me rot in that cellar. I had learned that I had been down there for four months. In that time not a word was heard from any of them. I hated them and wanted them to suffer just as I had.

But most of all I wanted Harry to suffer for everything because I blamed him the most. I hate him more than I hate my own mother for everything she put me through. What I went through with her was worse than anything Bellatrix could have done to me. And yet the hatred I have for her is nowhere near the same as what I feel for Harry.

"Ahhhhggggg". I hear screams which bring me out of my thoughts. They are blood curdling. I sit up and look for the source and see that they are coming from none other than Bellatrix Lestrange. My heart shatters hearing these. They sound the same as those that plagued my own nightmares, the ones about my mother. She must be trapped in a flashback. I think to myself. I want to help her so badly, but I don't want to make things worse.

I wait a few seconds to see if it will just go away on its own. But then I hear another scream. I get up off the floor and go over to the brunette who appears to be hagridden. "Bellatrix! Hey, you are having a nightmare." I try to speak to see if that will wake her up, but to my avail, it does not. I proceed to get closer to her with caution. What do I do? I think to myself. No one had ever comforted me, so I have no idea how to comfort her.

I sit on the bed and slowly caress her arm and start singing a song that has always help me, it is called Titanium. "I'm bullet proof nothing to lose, fire away fire away. Ricochet you take your aim, fire away fire away." I sing lightly still caressing her arm. Slowly her violent shaking subsides as does the screaming shortly after.

Bellatrix wakes up with a fright seeing me over her bed. She quickly shoots up and grabs her wand from under her pillow but relaxes when she sees it is me. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten you." I begin, panic rising in my voice, "But you were screaming so I was trying to help.". There were no snarky comments to be made nor any hateful comments. For once Bellatrix looks defeated. I get up to go back to my spot on the floor when she stops me. When I turn back to look at her, I can tell she is fighting with herself. "Wait, could you actually sing that song again?" Her features are soft, unlike the Bellatrix I knew who was hateful and cruel. "Of course, I can" She leans back, and I lay on the bed. "I'm bullet proof nothing to lose, fire away fire away" I start to sing "Ricochet you take your aim, fire away fire away. You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium.".

When I finish the song, I start to get up but once again Bellatrix stops me. "Please don't leave." She almost begs. I sit back down on the bed and get under the covers before closing my eyes and drifting off into a sleep of my own. For once I got to see that other side to Bellatrix, the part that almost seemed human. For the first time I got to see the woman behind the beast.

"Silver, it's time to wake up." Bellatrix shakes me gently. "Cissy has called us for breakfast." I groan before I get up. The first thing I can see is her face. The brunette's facial features are soft and gentle. The memory of last night has to still be in her brain. "You seem to be in a better mood than any other time I have encountered you." I comment, hoping for the reason for this to be revealed. She looks at me for a second before saying anything. "Yeah, well I had a good night's sleep for the first time since before I went to Azkaban." A bright red color flushes through Bellatrix's cheeks. She breaks the eye contact we had in order to hide it. But I know better, and I also know it has something to do with that energy I was telling her about last night.

"I'm glad you finally got to sleep well Bellatrix. If you don't want to talk about last night, I'll completely understand." I begin to say before she interrupts me. "What is there to talk about? I had a nightmare and your energy calmed me down. Nothing more than that." For a minute her old demeanor changes and the woman I knew comes out. She is cold and emotionless.

I quickly change the subject because I was liking the other version of this woman. "What did Narcissa make for breakfast?" I ask unnaturally interested in food. This would be the first real meal I have had in a while. "Eggs and toast I believe, and you need to eat up for training today. We can't have you passing out on me." she lets out a small chuckle. Merlin her laugh is so adorable. I think to myself. The point is every moment I spend with this woman, the stronger and stronger this feeling between us becomes. I'm sitting here just wondering what kissing her would feel like.

"Are you coming?" Bellatrix gestures with her hands. I was so lost in thought I hadn't even seen her move. "Should I change first?" I ask her curiously. "No need unless you are trying to impress someone." she replies softly. She is still sitting on the bed where I was laying. Then with whatever strength or stupidity that possesses me, I lean in closer to her. "What if I am trying to impress you." I whisper in her ear before taking her cheek into my hands and guiding her to my lips, engulfing her in a kiss. At first this takes her by surprise but then she kisses back and filles the kiss with the passion of a thousand suns. The energy between us grows stronger like it is just us that matters and no one else in the world.