Could've been poetic

Bad Habits

I want to quit counting the remaining days before I see you and start counting the heartbeats before going to sleep.

I want to quit making movies in my head and start watching them with you at dusk.

I want to quit going out dancing on Saturdays nights so that the only steps I have to memorize are the ones your bare feet make as you walk to bed.

I want to quit hugging the pillow and start wrapping my arms around your fears.

I want to quit dwelling on your doubts so I can wrap my arms around mine as well.

I want to quit smoking cigarettes and have you be the one thing my mind asks more of

- my body does too.

I want to quit looking for you every morning on god damn Instagram so I can start reaching out with my left arm when I wake up, before I even open my eyes.

I want to quit composing poetry for you and start reciting it under my breath while you are asleep because I will know you won't hear me.

I want to quit calculating the kilometers between my house and yours so I can start measuring the centimeters remaining up to your neck.

I want to quit listening songs while I am thinking of you and begin to hear moans and groans while doing it with you.

I want to quit dialing your number and stop before I call, so I can start leaving the page of my book marked up because you called for me and I decided to quit.

I do not want to quit letting you forget about me nor do I want start letting me forget about you.