Romancing the Son of Heaven

Stratagem 38: Learn about Your Beloved's Past (5)

Jing He looked at Qiu Ling, not sure what to say to this. This was the most personal Qiu Ling had ever been with him. It made him feel even more so that he needed to be careful with his words. If he failed to find the right ones, would that affect their relationship negatively? He didn't want that to happen.

Thinking for a moment, he didn't speak up at all. Right now, Qiu Ling probably wasn't looking for that. He was willing to share this part of his past but he was also somebody who valued strength. If he said something, then that might make Qiu Ling feel as if he was seen as weak. He wouldn't like that. Instead of that, it was better to give him the silent reassurance that he understood. Thus, he reached out, brushing Qiu Ling's arms.

Qiu Ling looked at him, smiling gently. To be honest, what he was saying wasn't wrong. Among the people who had been in his life back then, Jinde was the one he missed the most.

He lightly furrowed his brows when he thought of that and felt that maybe he should try and clarify. After all, it probably sounded strange. "I'm not sure if it makes sense to you if I say it like this. Honestly, it might seem ... callous to miss somebody else more than your own parents. But Jinde was ... he was probably more of a parental figure than my actual parents."

Jing He nodded. To be honest, he had gotten this the first time around. He understood why Qiu Ling would feel the need to clarify though. After all, Qiu Ling had met his parents and knew how their relationship was. Of course, he might think that because of how close he and his parents seemed, he would not be able to understand.

It was normal to think like that but he still wanted him to know that — no matter how much their life experiences differed — he would always understand him. He hesitated for a moment longer and finally, grabbed more tightly onto his arm. "To be honest, I do understand. A blood relationship doesn't necessarily make for a close connection. That still needs to be cultivated independently and with one person that can be easier than with another one."

Qiu Ling could hear from Jing He's voice that there was something more to what he was saying. He tilted his head, giving him a deep look to try and figure out what was going through Jing He's mind.

Jing He was somebody who would always try to see things from the other person's perspective but doing so often required one to think about his own situation. In his case, he wasn't close to many people, only his parents and uncle. Other than them, he didn't think that he had ever regularly seen anyone around Jing He. Well, maybe those two guards at the gate of the palace but that could hardly be counted as a personal relationship. Other than greetings and inquiries regarding his safety, they never even talked. So Jing He actually didn't have anyone.

Qiu Ling's brows slightly furrowed, making Jing He worry whether he had said the wrong thing. Had he sounded too judgmental? He panicked and held more tightly onto Qiu Ling's arm. "Anyway, he must've been a very special person."

Qiu Ling nodded but he wouldn't let go of the thought he had just had. Considering that there were so few people in Jing He's life, he could only compare how he felt about each of them if he wanted to relate to him. And maybe this was his own bias speaking but felt that there was a big difference between these people. "You father ... he's smothering you, isn't he?"

Jing He's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. He hesitated for a moment before finally shaking his head. "What would make you think so?"

Qiu Ling gave a hum, thinking back to what had happened in the past six years. "You know, I might be a bit overbearing and impatient and I didn't go about wooing you in a way that any of the gods would have, but nonetheless, your father's reaction to some of those ... episodes were a bit over-the-top, don't you think so?" He really couldn't say it any other way. This was already the nicest way to put it. In fact, he felt that the Heavenly Emperor was completely crazy for how he treated him.