Romancing the Son of Heaven

Stratagem 40: Make Memories for the Future! (5)

Qiu Ling fell quiet again, just gently stroking Jing He's arm while he continued to reminisce. He already wanted to pick the story up where he had left off, telling Jing He about the days that followed, but suddenly realized that his beloved hadn't said anything in the last couple of minutes.

Wondering what was up, he slightly lifted his head to take a look at him but Jing He had turned his head so that he couldn't see his face. He lay down his own head again, looking up at the sky and listening to Jing He's breath. Hearing how soft and rhythmic it was, he had clearly fallen asleep sometime while he was telling the story.

Qiu Ling wasn't sure what to think about this. This wasn't necessarily an important part of his life. And honestly, he wouldn't have a problem with it if Jing He didn't know. It was just that ... he seldom opened up like this. Now, he had no idea how long Jing He had actually listened.

He sighed and leaned down, quietly kissing his shoulder. His lips lingered on the fabric of his robe for a moment before he pulled back ever so slightly. Jing He's breath had not been disturbed by his light touch and he continued to sleep peacefully.

Qiu Ling looked into the distance, some pain contained in his eyes. "You don't need to know about my heroics, although I certainly don't mind if you do. The unfortunate thing is ... no matter what, I can't tell you everything."

He fell quiet for a moment, his brows furrowing. He would love to be honest with Jing He, down to the very last detail, but he couldn't do it. "You don't know but ... the actual reason I lived alone for so long, far away from civilization, and the reason why I didn't think I should be king ... it's that I found out that my blood wasn't pure."

He shook his head at himself and closed his eyes, leaning down to envelop Jing He in his embrace. "I could never tell you this while you're awake so ... I'm afraid this has to be it for my confession. I just ... I can't be honest about this. Not with anybody and ... especially not with you."

He gave a self-deprecating smile. "I fell in love with you at first sight and I spent so long wooing you. I know I've been ... somewhat successful but even with your feelings for me like this now, you'd still leave me if you found out that I have some demon blood. It's only natural."

He straightened up but his gaze brushed over the top of Jing He's head and the silky strands of hair that ran down his shoulders. He reached out and gently wrapped one around his fingers, raising it to his lips.

"How utterly fitting to deceive you like this. I guess that goes to show what type of person I actually am." He took a deep breath and sighed.

This wasn't the first time that Jing He was sleeping in his arms. The last time had been when he had been sick. Now, he was drunk. Who knew what would happen in the future? Anyway, he was looking forward to when Jing He would finally sleep in his arms like this without needing any outside reason. And he was sure that as long as he didn't expose himself, that day would come. As for now ...

He glanced around them and then lazily lifted his hand, putting the things he had taken out into his spatial ring. He would've loved to stay here with Jing He. Just quietly lie on the ground and hold him and only go back with him late in the evening when he had woken up on his own. Maybe they could have even spent some more hours together at that time.

But he also knew that he couldn't do that. When Jing He woke up, he would be embarrassed about getting drunk and falling asleep right in front of him. And he also knew that Jing He would be vexed at himself and worry about what he was thinking and ... it just wasn't right. He had to prove to him that he was reliable and worthy of his love. Even if he wasn't, he still had to make Jing He believe that it was the case.