For you I'd risk it all

finnland

*Luisa*

The victory in Canada should have been my big triumph, but in the end I hadn't even celebrated it because he had stood in my way again.

Before our home Grand Prix in Spielberg, I had taken some time off and gone to Finland. Far away from everything and everyone. I just wanted to be for myself and get everything in me straight again.

The first two days I had cried almost continuously. Since yesterday, however, I felt a little better and the pain had given way to anger. Boxing was clearly my new favorite workout. At least I could let off steam.

I had the music turned up pretty loud and kept hitting the punching bag until the doorbell rang. Quite confused, I walked down the hall to the door. I had only told Max and Matthias where exactly I disappeared to, so they could reach me in case of emergency. But nobody else knew that I was here and I was actually sure that the two would have announced themselves before they just showed up here.

With the boxing gloves it was quite awkward to open the door.

"Oscar?", I looked at my ex-fiancé's friend more than confused "What... I mean hi, but what are you doing here? How do you even know I'm here?", the blonde smiled.

"Hi. Well Phil told me about this cabin once and I've been coming here every time after the races hoping to meet you."

"Why?", I laughed, still completely confused.

He ran his hand through the back of his neck sheepishly "Well, Phil told me you broke up. Incidentally, that was the first time he'd ever talk about you in the office. I had no idea you existed until before the race in Australia. But since then I couldn't get you out of my head. He treated you like crap and you deserve someone to stand by your side, cheer you on, be there for you and... I didn't want to have to look back on this year someday and be upset that I didn't, so I wanted to ask if you'd go out with me?" a hopeful look.

"Um I...", I really didn't know how to answer that.

"I didn't want to regret it if I didn't at least try because I really like you and well I sure wouldn't be like Phil. I would support you. So even now I do if you don't go out with me, but..."

"No, that's okay," I waved it off, interrupting his nervous chatter.

I wasn't sure I wanted to go out with him. On the other hand, what did I have to lose?

It was just a date. After that, I could always decide.

"I'll go out with you," I nodded.

After all, a little distraction couldn't hurt, right?

"Really? Wow. Yeah cool!", he beamed all over his face.

"Sure. Um just give me time to shower and then we can go."

"Now?"

"Well you made it all the way to Finland, I assume you have time?"

"Yeah, sure, I just wasn't expecting it. I Ehm, I'll be back here in half an hour. Ok?"

"Good, I think I'll be done then."

He was distraction. Nothing more, nothing less. But I was sure that a little distraction would help me get through Sebastian faster, because forgetting him would be impossible. But I could distract myself. And soon Sebastian would no longer be on my team and it would certainly get easier.

It was an empty feeling to lie next to Oscar. Although he had his arm around me and I felt his warmth, I felt alone.

I had wanted this. We had gone back to the cabin after dinner. We'd had a beer, then another, and somehow one thing had led to another. It had been better than with Phil, but no comparison to....