Girl of Mine

Chapter 37 - Stephanie

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Rosalie POV (Sal)

The 15th of April, 1957

Stephanie.

I stopped in my tracks with my shopping cart swinging from my elbow.

Hearing her no longer present laughter in my head, it was as if the days of high school hadn't passed. It was memories, images, that no longer mattered—that I couldn't let matter. I wasn't the one to get caught up in the number of mistakes someone had made, but what counted was the betrayal that happened close to twelve months ago. I could still feel the nervousness from taking the exam go vapid compared to the feeling of reading that note. Almost as if I could feel the texture of the piece of paper at my fingertips, «Steph, I love you to the moon and back. You're my one step closer to heaven»—while my step closer to hell.

Gosh, I hadn't seen her since the proposal. She looked stunning as usual, just leaning over the frozen vegetable aisle, picking out a packet of peas with her trademark blonde hair falling in front of her. Gazing as if looking into a serene lake rather than the glass of a long-stretched fridge. Doll-like features curved her face like a diamond shape's promise of beauty. I'd never seen anyone with more symmetrical qualities, from her heart-shaped bright pink lips, screaming blue eyes, and broad and high cheekbones—but asymmetrical characteristics in her personality. She didn't make sense to me; she never did. Vain within, but like a smiling sun on the outside. The life of the party and the most excited girlfriend for your happenings—but only on the surface.

Her eyes fell on me as she stood up like a magnetizing but casual force. Ignoring her, I turned my nose the other way only to find her at the end of the short sauce and garnish aisle minutes later.

Serving me with a sly smile, she delicately placed the salt shaker she'd reached for with her peas, eggs, and salad. She kept her head straight as if no one belonged in her made-up path—but rolling by me; she eyed me. «Wendell says hi.»

I didn't need for another second to pass before I rolled my eyes, adequately taking her in. In close proximity, I found her hands resting on the shopping cart handle—spotting the very same ring I'd seen in that white box of Wendell's a few months short of a year ago. I'd never felt closer to winter in the brewing spring. The little thing on her finger caused the taste of a nearby twister. The presence of Wendell awaking the sheer terror of who he had hold of—still. Shivers derived—crawling down my spine. I panicked. «Stephanie, you really shouldn't be with him.»

Sighing extra annoyed, she snarled at me. «And why is that?»

«He's a piece of shit, Steph.» She appalled me, but no one deserved to have Wendell as their fiancé. All my anger dissolved as I tried to reach through her grossing ego. Urging her to wake up. See who she's tying her life down with.

«Maybe to you, but to me, he's marvelous.» Sassily flipping her hair off her shoulder, with the length of a horsetail, she couldn't wait to get away from me. The way her voice played with the last word, close to singing it, taking every vowel into consideration, told me she did not one bit get affected. Deeming me as false, denying my vocalized concern. The evident shallow outlook on me ignited a deep frustration—digging deep into a void I'd tried forgetting I owned.

With my eyes not leaving her as she went further down the aisle, I spat my words out. «Marvelous? Steph he...»

«He what?» Hissing at me, she let go of her cart, hasty in each move, facing me—gaping like an angry kid not getting her new toy or throwing a tantrum due to having to do as mommy says.

Closing my eyes, I breathed out. I had not let myself think of this since that day it happened. Always a step ahead, forcing me to forget over and over again. Promising myself a different life if I just let myself believe it didn't exist. The memory of wearing a blue gown on the night of new beginnings. «He hit me.»

«What?» Steph shakingly whispered, as loudly as a whisper could be. From sharp shapes to feathers—her stance transformed. Every fiber of her prickly needle scope of me got exchanged with the remembrance of crushing reality. A friend of the past standing before her—ruining her barricade of put-up hate. Jealousy and vengeance.

Not a sound escaped Steph after her first outburst. Meeting the world again, letting myself open my eyes to the world—within and beyond, I felt the warm need and want to cry. As if a water tap stood ready with heated water, only waiting for a signal to start pouring. Blinking, I didn't let it happen, but it didn't stop Steph from noticing I wasn't making a joke. It was real. He punched me. Attacked me. Coerced into a state, I had taken no part of myself.

«Just leave him.» I urged her before getting myself out of there—hopelessly tired, overburdened by flooded recollections of hands and unwanted touches. Unwanted tokens. A stolen space of my mind that I didn't own no longer—and didn't want to.

Forget. Forget. Forget.

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Author's note:
A step closer to letting herself feel, Sal has touched upon what happened on New Year's Eve. All that matters is that she has opened up something, even if she closes the door again—she has opened it once. And therefore, it can open again.

This was quite a heavy chapter, but in a way it seems lighter because of the change seen in Sal. From earlier comments, I know a lot of us agree that Sal talking to someone is what she desperately needs. And though it wasn't the person we thought would bring it out of her—someone did.

Thoughts on seeing Stephanie again and their interactions?

Thoughts on Sal admitting the attack and her road ahead? Where do you think she'll go, and what do you want for her to do?

Thoughts on the chapter?

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(Chapter 37/64)
This chapter is slighly edited by Grammarly.
New chapter every week (Tuesdays)

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