It is easier to hate

18 |

Natasha's pov:

I wake up in the middle of the night. Honestly I am thankful. It wasn't anything at all than a nightmare of the red room again.

I stand up and go to the bathroom.
Somehow this all doesn't feel right. There is this feeling, this feeling to go to the training room and just train until the next mission.

I let water flow in my hands and press my face in it.

After that, Without further ado I get the sweater, pull it over and go to the training room.

It's around 4 am, no one would be there.

Y/ns pov:

I am still laying there when I hear the door opening.
Now I am really fucked up. Whoever this is should shot my right now. I mean imagine you go into a room and you see a 16 years old, shivering and crying with scars over whole body, the most of them fresh in widow dancing shoes.

Not the best thing.

Natasha's pov:

I enter the training room and put some lights on. Just a few.

When I walk in I see Y/n. Oh my god why does she needs to be everywhere I am?

I just wanted to say that she should get out when I see what's really happening.

She isn't making any exercises, she lays there, shivering and I can hear her crying. She has scars all over her body, but the shocking is, the most of them are new ones.
She's curled up into a ball.

I immediately run to her and forget that I am still angry at her.

Y/ns pov:

I feel Someone's hands on me and hear Natasha voice.

„Y/n, любовь, что случилось?"
(Y/n, love what happend?)

I keep laying there.
Now she knows I am a wreck. How lovely.

She kneels next to me and pulls me into her arms.
She's warm and I have this strange feeling of safety again. We both lay there for a unknown long time.

She repeats:

„Shhh detka I am here."

And somehow this helps me. She caress my head and I feel how my tears get less. I start hugging her back.

„I am sorry Natasha"

„It's alright honey, but this isn't the reason why you lay curled up into a ball at 4 am in the training room"

I nod and I trust her. I want to tell her, I want to share with her all my secrets.

„Please don't be mad"

„I promise"

I get of my shoes and give it to her. She will know that these are widow shows. I close my eyes and press myself on her as tight as I could.

A few seconds I hear nothing. Than she starts caressing my head again.

„It's okey Y/n, don't be shy, you can open your eyes"
I carefully open them. She doesn't look angry or annoyed, more.... nice.

„And where are all these new scars from?"
I wait a second and than hand her my blade I always have with me.
She hums softly.

I feel how tears roll down again and she pulls me into her hug again.

„It's okey baby. It's okey"
After a lot of crying I finally can get myself again.

„Do you want to come into my room. It will be definitely more comfortable than here"