lisa ann walter adopts you

part 6

okay . so, it's time for me to go to the new foster family which will be hosting me for a while. i want to panic again . the social worker is here to drive me , and lisa and the rest of the cast smile at me softly with encouragement. "you're gonna be okay, kiddo . call us if you need us." lisa says. "and please , get some dinner in you." lisa says softly.
with the casts encouragement, i take a deep breath, thank them , and leave with the worker. her name is mrs bryant . she's very quiet and she intimidating, but she lets me put on the radio. she asks me how my day was , too. she even asks if she should watch the show. of course i say yes.
the house is a while away. about 25 minutes. it's around 5 pm ,  and by the time we get there the sun is setting, and the air has a chilly fall feeling. i get out, shivering. "do you have a jacket at home? we can go collect your things if you'd like. we just figured we'd bring you here for the night since they already have some stuff here, and it's getting dark. "
"im fine. we can get my stuff whenever."
"okay. "mrs bryant says.
"now , anna , this family seems very excited to host you, but they understand that you're going to be with lisa soon. please be nice to them. they foster because they can't get pregnant. "
"okay. i'll be nice." i say, wishing i could just go to lisa's. i feel like an orphan. and , i guess, i basically am. an empty feeling drops to the pit of my stomach. more anxiety rages in me. i feel like an outcast, and unwanted. like a disappointment . i start to feel like maybe all this is just me, being overdramatic . maybe it's all in my head. maybe i'm ruining my life over it before it's even started. will i ever not be an orphan again? will i still be able to have a successful acting career like this? am i even safe? doubt rushes around me like a whirlwind. i wish i had a little toto, like dorothy, because my brain is having a tornado of emotions and abandonment. at least , if i had a toto, i wouldn't be so alone then i am in this moment. do they think i'm dirty? do they think it's my fault? what if it IS my fault? what if i deserved it ?