𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 & 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦, 𝐦. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

²¹

matt wasn't paying attention. the conversation around him was blurring into one block of speech he couldn't comprehend. his mind felt fuzzy as he tried to distinguish the two voices and their words. it was almost as though his ears were ringing with the desire to listen but they were unable to do such a thing. the comments were going through one ear and out the other before he could even begin to register them, let alone acknowledge them.

"matt why the fuck are you in mars? i can see the edits about how you were too quiet please say something," nick groaned in frustration.

chris laughed at his elder brother's comment and turned to face matt, who had yet to say a word. chris shoved his shoulder and finally managed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. when they failed to make matt laugh or reply sarcastically, they knew something was wrong.

"kid, what's wrong?" chris furrowed his brows.

matt was quiet, sure; it wasn't unusual for the boy to not say much but they had been filming for about 10 odd minutes and neither of his brothers recalled him speaking even once. it was like he was in an entirely different world where he was unable to speak due to the dozen thoughts circling his mind and the memory constantly replaying.

"i kissed hope," he said and the tone he said it in made chris and nick consider whether they heard him right for at least a moment or two.

matt didn't know whether to laugh or cry. he hated how things weren't easy and that actions actually led to something. he adored living in the moment but the second the moment was over, his mind was showing him all that could potentially come and he hated it. he wished things could happen for the sake of happening and it be left at that. life was never that simple though, his actions led to more and he was scared to find out exactly what. fear was instilled upon him the moment chris knocked on his door that day and when he watched hope walk out. confusion and horror pulled him in and he couldn't escape even when he tried his hardest.

"what?" nick said blankly.

"i kissed hope and i don't know why i did it but she kissed back and i thought everything was okay but then she left and we never spoke after that and i don't know where we stand and-" he began rambling, careless towards the fact that he probably wasn't making any sense.

nothing made sense to him.

"slow the fuck down," chris steadied him with his hands and matt stopped speaking, releasing a large sigh in the process.

"when was this?" nick asked, trying to make sense of the situation from matt's words.

"that day we went to the park, the water bottle day," matt confirmed and it was as though alarm bells went off in chris' head as he turned to face his brother with wide eyes.

"please don't tell me it was when i came to ask if you guys wanted food," he hoped with a slow exhale.

"it was," matt pointed out and nick looked between matt and chris in confusion.

"matt can you explain properly?" nick asked softly and matt inhaled sharply before he nodded his head.

"okay so we came home after you guys and then we saw you weren't in the living room so we just went to my room. i think we were both thinking about a moment in our relationship and then hope went on her phone. i don't know, i was kinda just looking at her and at one point she looked up and i just couldn't resist. we were both leaning in and then i just kissed her. i don't know what was going through my head," matt explained, recalling the events of the other day in an almost painful manner.

"did she kiss back?" chris asked and matt nodded his head.

"if she kissed back then what's the problem?" nick questioned earnestly.