𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 & 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦, 𝐦. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

ᵖʳᵒˡᵒᵍᵘᵉ

matt's hands were trembling, every single nerve inside of him was jumping, tingling with fear and panic. he didn't want to do it, if it were up to him, he'd find a way to make it keep working but sometimes, things just didn't work out. his girlfriend was everything to him, the person who could comfort him when no one else could but lately, the distance between the pair was becoming significantly harder to deal with.

recently their relationship had changed, he couldn't explain it exactly but his heart didn't seem completely in it anymore, although he wished it was. each day and every moment they spent apart pulled them further and further away from one another. he couldn't deal with not having her around so his mind decided on leaving her altogether. it would save them both from hurting later on was what he kept telling himself. he wasn't sure if he was justifying his choice or reassuring himself, maybe it was a bit of both.

his heart almost plummeted out of his chest when hope walked into the room. his palms grew sweaty and his breathing scattered. he was aware that this was never going to be easy and he knew it was going to hurt so much. the way her smile was so prominent on her face made his heart sink even further, she seemed so content for someone who was about to be broken up with. her smile usually reflected onto him but in that moment, it made him want to sob for hours on end. the mere sight of her could brighten his mood, make his entire day at times, but right now he felt the urge to violently throw up.

she slumped onto the bed beside him and snuggled close into his side with a little content sigh. his body stiffened against her touch and she raised her head to glance at him curiously. he gently escaped her grasp and she frowned a little at his strange behaviour. the quick warm feeling that appeared as she sat beside him disappeared and suddenly the room felt chilly. the air seemed cool and tense, it felt like the lights had flickered off and the only thing providing some sort of illumination was attempting to follow.

"are you okay?" she asked hesitantly, beginning to fidget with the skin around her nails.

"hope..." he came out with in barely a whisper.

her eyes shifted to his face, looking at him so lovingly and tenderly that he wanted to turn back and act like nothing was wrong. he simply couldn't though, it was either now or never and he chose now, for both of their sakes. the sparkle in her eyes was there as always, darting around the room in confusion. he stared at her, a million thoughts running through his head as he tried to gather his words.

"matt what's wrong?" she pushed again, her voice remaining soft.

she was terrified, his actions replayed quickly in her mind but she shook her head, ignoring them for he was the most important thing right now. right now, forever and always.

"i can't do this anymore," he finally breathed out, eyes pressing shut firmly.

her face dropped so incredibly fast, the caring smile on her face leaving as quickly as it had arrived. she exhaled slowly and avoided his eyes. he grabbed her hands and forced her to look into his eyes, hoping he could convey everything he was feeling.

"please hear me out," he almost pleaded when her eyes shifted to the floor, keeping herself composed as best she could. she shook her head, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"you know we can't do this, you live in a completely different state and the distance isn't working anymore. i love you, i always will but i can't do this, please you have to understand," he explained, his eyes becoming glossy at each word he spoke.

"we've made it work for 2 years matt, we can make it work again," she knew she was coming across as desperate but she needed matt, more than anything in the world and she wasn't sure how she would cope without him. she was unsure how he could cope without her, after all this time.