Musings And Questions/Short Stories For The Mentally Tired

An Ode To Loss (23/1/2023)

Recently, I lost something. That may not sound unique, or special, or noteworthy. But the thing is, I can't remember what I lost. I know it was a person, specifically the memories of that person. But, I think that some of the other parts of me decided to fully remove or hide away those memories. I know that it was a person, but I can't remember what their name was. I keep thinking it was Marshall, or it might have been Samantha. But I can't remember who it was or why I feel uncomfortable that I've forgotten them.

Don't get me wrong. I've forgotten a lot of people, and I'm pretty sure a lot of people have forgotten me. But I don't feel uncomfortable about those people. I know I've forgotten them, and I'm alright with that. But something about this person keeps bothering me. Like I had a very big reason for them being in my life at some point. But I can't remember where. Did I go to school with them? Or did I know them from a job? Or did we meet accidentally?

Whatever the answer is, I do know this. The rest of me is urging me to forget it. To leave behind the strange holes and blocks in my memory. To leave the past shrouded in fog. And... I think that might be the right thing to do. I keep getting flashes of emotions that aren't related to what I'm doing. I tried playing minecraft for the first time in a year or more, and I had to turn it off after five minutes because I'd gotten extremely depressed. I couldn't tell why.

I think that I forgot someone that was very important to me, but I also think that I shouldn't go looking. Something happened, and now I've forgotten what it was, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to remember it.

That's all for strange and confusing things from inside my head today. Bye.