Alfie’s POV:
I feel like shit. Haven’t felt this bad in a long time I was four months clean... four long hard months of living my life and enjoying myself and now its started again. I have fallen right back into my own trap and it’s going to be a struggle to get out. I’ve crumbled.
I don't remember when it started.
I remember doing it occasionally in college, and after I graduated when I was alone. But it started getting more frequent when I moved across the country to start a new life in my first proper place with Caspar.
Now I have started up again, Retrying to give up bulimia will mean giving up my way of dealing with stress. I guess my friends, family and YouTube are the only things keeping me going.
Apart from dealing with my secret problems I currently have Caspar banging on my door screaming for me to get up.
“Jesus Alfie, Get up already!” Caspar screamed while thumping his hand against the door.
I slowly walked over to the door and fumbled with the lock. Once I unlocked the hatch the door was swung open with such force and Caspar tumbled in falling right on top of me.
“You could have given me a warning!” Caspar angrily screeched while getting up and smoothing out his t-shirt.
“Sorry...” I said picking myself off the floor and dusting myself off.
Caspar stood there just looking at me right in the face... “What happened to you?” he questioned with a more gentle tone to his voice.
I turned my face away from him dropping eye contact. I opened my mouth to speak but my voice cracked and no words came. I ran my fingers though my hair and I could feel my hands getting sweaty, so I just slipped them into my pyjama trouser pockets. I wanted to tell him but I couldn’t, everything would be ruined.
I turned back to face him and was met with Caspar’s large worried eyes, “Bad hangover?” he question once again looking right at my face searching for his answer.
I hesitated a little trying to think of something to say but in the end I replied with “yeah...” so thankful that he had asked that question.
“We all get them Alfie” Caspar said chuckling and reaching over to rest his hand on my shoulder.
Thankfully that was a lucky escape.
Suddenly Caspar started backing away from me, “I’m just going to pinch some of your toothpaste!” He said walking over to my en-suite bathroom.
That was the only place I really didn’t want him to go. I reached over to him to try and stop him but he had already opened the door by the time I turned to pull him back...
Caspar’s eyes widened as he looked to see what was before him he instantly backed away covering his mouth and doubling over as if he was going to be sick. He turned to look at me; I saw pity in his eyes which were shimmering in the light with his fresh tears. He then turned away and left my room.
Marcus’s POV:
I woke up to my phone ringing on the bedside table, it was Caspar.
“Marcus...” Caspar slowly said into the phone, his voice coarse and shaky.
“It’s early Caspar this better be important” I croaked into the phone barely opening my eyes.
“There is something wrong with Al... Alf... Alfie” He whispered breaking up at the end of his sentence.
My eyes lit up, this was unusual everything was fine last night. “What’s wrong with him?” I said trying to stay calm because surly if it was really serious I would be first to know.
“I don’t know...” Caspar replied.
“I’ll come over” I stated pulling on my jeans as we spoke.
“Okay, well you have a key I think he has locked himself up in his room again...” Caspar said trailing off a little.
“I’ll be there in thirty” I replied putting the phone down.
Within ten minutes I was already down the hall waiting for a lift. Everything was completely still in the early morning until the silence was broken by Honor shouting my name from down the hall. She made her way towards me being friendly and involving us both in some calm small talk. Her face looked a little puffy as if she had just woken up and as she came closer I could see how baby like her face was without any make up, she looked so young.
She questioned me asking why I was up so early that’s when I paused... realising I didn’t even have an answer. I then realised she was wearing Jacks top and joked around that she must of had fun last night but she took it completely in the wrong way. She stood there searching for her words and her face saddened. She looked angry and hurt by the comment and she swore. I was just about to apologise but she then stormed off in the opposite direction her hands in angry fists by her sides. She was gone before the words even left my mouth.
First encounter of the day and things were already heading down hill I could tell that today wasn’t going to be a good one.
Alfie’s POV:
How could I have been so stupid? I left the bottles Syrup of ipecac on the side by the toilet and the whole bathroom stank of stale sick. My stomach turned at the smell and tears pricked the back of my eyes... I couldn’t cover up the fact that I have been sick but I could cover up the fact that I’m making myself do it... I’m putting myself in a bad place I have to stop. I have honestly never felt so low; I sat on my bed and cried. I wasn’t holding it in anymore, I cried because I felt so alone in this dark hole that I have dug myself into and I was sinking too far down to clime out.
Shit. I bet Caspar has gone and told Marcus, I can’t lie to him.
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*Authors note*
Right so I’m trying to do midweek updates to keep you guys entertained, sorry if it’s a little short but I promise i do have some good ideas for later chapters, so just bare with me!
*Just want to make this clear*
What I am writing is fiction this has never happened and will never happen! Alfie is such a strong person and so many people look up to him for inspiration! I hope no one gets upset or hurt by this; bulimia is a serious issue and should be taken very seriously. This has been written for FICTIONAL purposes only I feel very strongly about this matter!
Another thing I would like to address is that I know people are reading but your not giving me feedback. I would love it if you could comment and vote so I know what you think! Then I know if I’m doing it right or not. Get your opinions across guys so I can get an idea of how you guys feel about how the stories going! One last thing I would like to say is that i update about this fanfic a lot on my person twitter and shared (with dani) fan account! So follow if you want updates!
@HonorDanns
@Danni_Reeino
@MalfiesBlog
