Red_Velxxvetz has helped with the production and preparation of this book by providing her very well-drawn artworks and brilliant ideas.
All is in 1st person
|"Y/N" not used| "You" not used| "Your name" not used|
> There are quite a few NSFW sc...
When I woke up, I didn't feel at all better. People say that sex is healthy for a relationship after a fight, it brings you closer or something like that. What even is this relationship? I felt so sick, in my head, in my chest, my stomach! Everything was wrong, and it made me so anxious. The more I thought about it, the more I made myself angry. Why couldn't I just say what I wanted without choking on my words? I literally told him I was done and quit. Now, look at me! We're cuddling like it never happened.
How pathetic do I have to be? I should have learned by now and yet... I've never changed.
I slipped out of bed, still early as shit. No light is coming through the windows yet. I didn't know where I was even gonna go.
"What are you doing up, sweetest?" A yawn followed by a croaky voice. I had accidentally woken the prince. He leaned up on his elbows trying to see out of tired eyes.
"I just need to go get some air or food. Or something like that." I whispered, trying really hard not to wake the second body. Stolas' eyes widened a bit in concern, you can see his thoughts that's how expressive he is.
"Then I shall accompany you." He scootched out of bed, pulling on his red robe lined with soft cotton. I sighed not really wanting to put up a fight, It would only wake Blitz anyway. So, quietly slipping through the crack of the door, I began walking. Each hall felt endless, like a maze that swallowed me whole. At some point, Stolas gently held my hand and guided me to the kitchen.
I stood in the room as he walked around, making two cups of what I assume is coffee.
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(... it's creepy as shit, not gonna lie...)
Taking my seat at a table, I lay my head in my folded arms, watching him move around the kitchen with grace. I wish I had that. A steamy almost boiling hot cup was set in front of me followed by Stolas pulling up a chair of his own.
He was still watching me blow on the hot liquid, taking a sip of his own before speaking. "My dear, Are you alright?" His eyebrow knitted together. Truthfully, I was not okay and trying to say so was like breathing water.
"I don't... No, I'm not"
"what's the matter?" He placed his cup down to rest his hand on his lap. Patiently awaiting my answer, surely he can see I didn't want to talk about this, right? But I have to, otherwise, it'll rot everything I am and devour any care I had for him....
"I don't know what to do with Blitz." I choked out, talking longer to spit out each word as if I was piecing together the language I was raised to know. "How do you mean?" His head tilted a little.
Somehow I was able to let go of the ropes holding me hostage and dribble my thoughts. Stolas must think I'm an over-emotional idiot huh? "I- I like him, I really, really like him but I don't want him to constantly keep me at arm's length and let me in only to fuck me." Tears stung the corners of my eyes and weirdly so, my nose as well.
