I pulled into the station car park excited for my first day back. I was finally home. This is what I fought for.
I strolled in to see everyone eating eggs, bacon and toast. I turn my head and walk into the changing rooms.
I pull on my shirt and turn my head. I take a deep breath and walk through the door. Everyone is still eating and chatting when I walk up. They all turn to see me and send me a scowl. Cap shakes his head ever so slightly so I take that as my cue to walk away. I turn on my heel and walk away. I bite my lip as I bop up and down while going down the stairs. "BUCKLEY!" I hear.
I turn back around and see Bobby leaning against the banister. A hopeful look lights up my face but is soon dimmed with these words: "go clean the trucks and after that, the kitchen."
The words shoot through my heart. I take a Deep breath and grab the cleaning supplies. I glance back before working my way to the trucks. I scrub away at the tiny dirt specks from where they have drove over muddy areas.
I clear my throat and pick up the bucket and move over to the front of the truck. "Buckley make sure to get under the trucks to unblock underneath the gutters." Bobby says while walking past. I nod and grab one of the sliding plates to go under the truck.
I was about to slide under when my chest tightens up and my hands begin to tremble. No no no no no... not again. This cannot happen. My breath quickens slightly and I stand up. My legs feel so weak. Just like me. I can't go under that truck. Not with what happened. I can remember me screaming in pain as Eddie and Hen attempted to pull me out from under the ladder truck.
I bite my lip as I regain control of my breath. I calm down and continue cleaning the trucks and extremely hesitantly go under the truck and unblock the gutters. I stand up from the sliding plate and crack my back as it hurts.
It's just then when I see Eddie looking at me with those beautiful brown eyes. He looks away once he sees I spotted him staring. He gets up, I assume to go to the bathroom, and walks past me, scoffing slightly. "Why are you so mad at me Eddie?" I mumble.
"Why didn't you reach out? When you dropped the suit. You don't think me or Chris would've appreciated knowing that we could talk to you?"
It's the grocery store situation all over again.
"I didn't think you would want me to.. you seemed so angry at me."
"BECAUSE I WAS!" He yells, gaining the attention of more people. My eyes burn with tears I will not let spill. I step back slightly expecting him to fight me then and there. "But of course you're Buck! You never think that anybody else can suffer can you?!" He points a finger of accusation at me. He takes a deep breath before continuing yelling. "You know how much Chris missed you? How much I missed you!" He closes his mouth and waited for a reply. "Lo-look I'm sorry Eddie, I wasn't thinking.. I'm so so sorry Ed's-"
"You don't get to call me that." He won't meet my eyes. I can still see the tears in his eyes though. Be shakes his head. "Why didn't you tell me Eddie-"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" I could tell he didn't mean to say that, no matter how much impulse it was; he meant it. The regret of what he just said fills his face. His eyes widen when he sees my face. He picks his feet up and walks away to outside the firehouse.
"Eddie!" I yell after him.
I look around and see everyone staring at me. Everyone is so angry and upset with me. I can't carry that. Not anymore, so I will apologise officially after I fix this. I inhale a deep breath of air and run out after him.
Once I reach outside I see him standing against the firehouse wall, looking to the ground. I clear my throat as to make him aware of my presence. He looks up at me and holds eye contact. The tension is thicker then ice in negative degree weather. [DANGEROUSLY YOURS REFERENCE POPPING UP IN A SECOND]
"I love you, you may as well take my heart Eddie. It's already full of you.."
"Please go!"
"What is it? What's wrong Ed's?"
"You know nothing about me, you've known me only one year!"
"One year? Eddie I've known you for 4 years now.."
"4 years.." Eddie laughed as if to say Buck was lying. He wasn't.
"I'm sorry Ed's. I will take my whole life trying to make this up to you. I never meant for the lawsuit to go that far."
"I forgive you." He pointed a finger at Buck. "Just don't do it again." He says with a slight smirk. They close the space between them as their lips connected. Buck grasped Eddie's hair and carefully ran his fingers through it. They both pull away and look at each other. "I love you too," Eddie says.
Buck smiles and pulls him in for a hug. "Always" He whispers into the crook of Eddie's neck.
