Sage's Resurrection

Chapter 26

Ten Reasons The Sharingan Can Go Fuck Itself:

Reason One: They can do anything you do, right after seeing it.

Reason Two: They can react to your attacks before you even start them. If you dash up to an Uchiha and try to punch them, they can (and will) catch your punch, or dodge it, or otherwise counter appropriately.

Reason Three: There is no tricking an Uchiha (without some method of cloning/ outnumbering). As long as you remain in their line of sight, you cannot trick them.

Reason four: They can pull off the most bullshit kunai tricks like it's the easiest thing in the world. (Example, webs of wire that completely change if wires are snapped)

Reason five: They can ascertain the properties of most jutsu at a glance. There is no 'can I figure out his secret jutsu before he figures out mine', because as soon as you do it, they know what it is and how to counter it.

Reason six: The bullet-time reactions. I swear. This is actually bullshit. I can't count how many times I've had Madara dead to rights, and then he just finds the one flaw in my plans in a moment.

Reason seven: A sufficiently skilled sharingan wielder can apply genjutsu with the subtlety of a Bijudama, and still yield results. They can make you their puppet.

Reason eight: They have a really good eye for details. If there's a small patch of mud or other such geographical hazard, they will lure you towards it.

Reason nine: They can lip read. No muttering under your breath.

Reason ten: If you are so unlucky as to face multiple sharingan wielders, then they can pull off all sorts of fun tricks. Throwing each other equipment, setting up opportunities for their teammates, the works.

-Excerpt from Hashirama Senju's "Ten Reasons Why the Sharingan Can Go Fuck Itself."

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"I hope to see you again, Uzumaki." Moesashi and his team had come to see them off.

"Likewise." Naruto extended a hand, which the flaming swordsman reciprocated.

Naruto grinned and dashed off, leaving only a dust cloud where he once stood.

Sayuri smiled. "Finally. Time to head home."

Kakashi appeared in front of them and smiled, three licences in hand. "Congratulations, chunin." He pulled his masks off. "This is me."

"Who else got promoted? What happens to our team now?" Naruto rushed out, snatching the licence from Kakashi.

"I believe Sakura and Hinata also got promoted, among others. As for Genin Cell Seven, we are, officially, disbanded." At their distraught expressions, he continued. "However, this does not mean that you won't ever see me again. We can still take missions together, but I will not come on every mission with you. It's been a fun year, but it must come to an end."

"Really? The chunin rank isn't worth losing you, Kakashi-sensei." Sayuri stored her licence away.

"You must learn to navigate the world without me. This is the first step."

"Let's just go home. I'm sick of only seeing mountains. I want the forest back."

"Alright then. Hey, whoever comes last has to cook dinner-" Naruto blinked as the others flickered away. "-tonight. Of course they did that."

Hey, Naruto! Looks like you're gonna be the one cooking tonight! Sasuke shouted.

Oh you're so on! Kurama?