Cosplay Husband

1. A Pathetic Way to Make Friends

ARMIN: This wanted poster had to be the stupidest idea ever.

And yet...it might be stupid enough to work.

I finished stapling it to the corkboard covered in flyers for different clubs. It read: "WANTED: A FRIEND TO GO TO POP CULTURE CONVENTIONS AND COSPLAY WITH. ONE TIME CHANCE. CALL OR TEXT THIS NUMBER FOR DETAILS, OR FIND ME IN DORM BUILDING A, ROOM 332."

I knew that if my old friends Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church were here, they would be laughing their asses off. Yes, their dork friend actually needed to put up a "Wanted" poster to make friends. What a loser I am.

I gathered up the rest of the posters and walked off, looking for other places to post them.

EREN: Jean slapped me on the back roughly. "Hey, quit it, Horse Face!" I protested.

"Come on, Eren, don't you think you should try to forget about Mikasa and hit on some other girls now that you're free?" Jean pestered me, and I wanted to punch him.

Despite the fact Mikasa and I had broken up a month before graduation, my heart still kinda hurt over her. She had been my childhood friend and my only girlfriend in high school.

"Of all the people who enrolled into Stohess University, I can't believe I got stuck with you." I gritted my teeth.

"Ah, you see? Doesn't wanting to beat the shit out of me make you feel better already?" Jean punched me in the arm.

"The only way it'll make me feel better is actually getting to beat the shit out of you." I crossed my arms.

"Hey hey, look at this," Jean spotted something tacked up on the corkboard.

"What, you wanna join the cheerleading squad? You'd look great in a skirt." I told him.

"Shut up, Jäeger," Jean said, pointing to a plain white poster. "Look here; Wanted: A friend to go to pop culture conventions and cosplay with. One time chance. Call or text this number for details, or find me in dorm building A, room 332. Cosplay, like the kind they do in porn." Jean said.

"Well you'd know, wouldn't you?" I replied flatly.

"This sounds pretty pathetic, but pretty hot," he hinted.

"So?"

"So, you should call the number. Or at least meet the person. Who knows? Maybe it'll be a hot chick who wants you to dress up as a teacher and fuck her." Jean encouraged.

"That's stupid; I bet this is a joke. No one's that desperate to put up a 'Wanted' poster to make friends." I shook my head.

"Well, why don't you see for yourself?"

Frustrated and desperate to get the hell away from this asshole, I ripped down the poster and took it with me.

Stupid Jean, what does he know anyway? This is probably just a joke. I don't even have to do this. This is just a dumb trick set up by a really pathetic person.

Very soon I realized that dorm building A wasn't even one of the female dorm buildings; it was a male dorm building. So this was some pathetic guy; it probably was a trick.

But I still followed the map to the third floor and down to room 332.

The door was closed, so I knocked. As soon as my hand touched the door, it creaked open.

I poked my head inside, and I saw the back of a very thin-looking person with blond hair cut chin-length. Maybe this was a girl's dorm...? The person was fiddling around with stuff, unpacking.

"Excuse me...I'm looking for the person who set up that 'wanted' poster." I said.

The person turned around, and I nearly screamed when I realized it was a guy. Just a very thin guy with a shitty haircut.

"Oh, I didn't think anyone would actually take the offer." He said, his voice almost high enough to be a girl's.

"Yeah, look at that..." I muttered.

"I'm Armin Arlert," he said, holding out his hand for me to shake.

"Eren Jäeger," I replied.

"Forgive me for the mess; I haven't quite finished unpacking yet." He said, smiling.

His smile hit me like a semi-truck. Despite this kid's shitty haircut, dumb name, and way too-high voice, his smile was inviting.

"I-it's no problem." I said, clearing my throat. Did I stutter? Whatever, I was just freaked out about this weirdo.

"Just take a seat on the bunk. I guess I can interview you here while I finish unpacking." He said.

I sat down on the creaky bunk.

"So, Eren, have you been to any pop culture conventions before?" He asked, cutting open a cardboard box.

"No, I have no idea what they are. Are the comic conventions and the cosplay thing related?" I asked.

"Yeah, when I go to conventions I usually dress up as one of my favorite fictional characters of that time." Armin explained.

"So...this cosplay...it's not the sexual kind? Because Jean told me that's what it meant." I was kind of embarrassed to ask, but I figured that since I had answered this loser's call I might as well know what I'm getting myself into.

"Wh-what? No, definitely not! I-I'm too shy to wear anything mildly revealing." Armin stammered. He rested some thin booklets on the floor, and that's when I realized they were comic books.

"Hey, I've read that one before," I pointed at one.

"This? I thought I was the only one...it's not very popular." Armin blushed.

"Yeah, I know. What else you got?" I got on my knees to sift through the box with him.

"Umm...don't laugh, but I have some Japanese manga in here. I'm trash." He rubbed the back of his neck, which complimented his smile and hit me with the force of a tank.

I picked one of the manga things up and sifted through it. "It's backwards."

"Yeah, you're supposed to read it that way. If you want to give one a try, I recommend this one." He handed me one called Menace of the Giants. "This one is one of my favorites. The concept is pretty cool; giant humanoid giants roam the earth, doing nothing but eating people. And the people who live inside these massive domes are the only members of humanity left. I was going to cosplay one of the characters from this one, but it's really popular and I wanted to be a little unique."

"Hmm..." I mumbled, thumbing through it. "Hey, this guy kinda looks like you."

"Yeah, Marlin Rater. He's the best friend of the main character, Gene Jerere." Armin said.

"So...what convention is coming up and who are you cosplaying?" I asked.

"Oh...I kinda wanted to cosplay this guy," Armin held up a regular book this time. The cover had a blond guy in shiny armor, like a knight's, battling a green dragon. "The book is called The Ancient Wind. It's one of those medieval-type stories. This is the main character, Rhys, aka the Third Bastard King."

"And who do you want me to be?" I cringed at the thought.

Armin showed me another book in the series. This one's cover had a redhead guy on it. "Aeron, the Master of Beasts."

I squinted at it. "My hair isn't red."

"It's okay; the cosplay is all on me. All you have to do is wear it and come with me to the conventions." Armin said. "And read the books, I guess. But I think you'll like them, Eren. Hey...I just realized that your name sounds similar to 'Aeron'. I bet you were destined for this!"

At this point, I realized it might be a mistake, but I wasn't gonna back out now. This poor pathetic kid needed me.