I Don't Remember

Fourteen

"What the hell happened?" Erin asked as she nearly stomped up to Danny. They were in the hospital- again- because of Linda. And Erin had a feeling it didn't have anything to do with Linda's apparent clumsiness.

"She tripped and hit her head," Danny explained only half of it, feeling immensely guilty.

"Was she distracted?"

"We were asking about the car crash," Baez answered, and Erin noticed her for the first time.

"What? Why?"

"I thought she was ready for it. If this person tried to kill her in a hit and run, what's stopping them from coming back? She needed to remember so that I could protect her."

"You know if you force her, you could cause some serious permanent damage!"

"Permanent?" Danny's voice sounded worried.

"She could lose more memory, or suffer brain trauma. This can effect her mental health for years. And you thought it was just okay to ask her?"

"We didn't know about that. I thought she could, since she was remembering other things."

Erin only shook her head and took a seat next to Jamie and Eddie, who had remained silent. "What if you f***ed her up? What then, Danny? Do you think she'd be able to forgive you?"

"Of course she would. She always does."

"What if this is what breaks her back?"

But before Danny could say more, the doctor came out. "Family of Linda Reagan?"

Danny nodded, "that's us. How is she?"

"She's fine. No concussion. You can see her now."

They all followed the doctor to Linda's room. She was sitting up, and she looked... confused and pissed and scared.

"Hey," Danny said softly, feeling like he should keep a little distance. He stood by her bed, leaving about three inches between him and the mattress.

Linda stared at him for a moment, then looked away. "Hi."

"Are you okay?" Erin stepped closer.

"No. Who's f***ing idea was it to ask me about that f***ing car crash?" She spat out, making everyone raise their eyebrows. Linda didn't say the F-word so freely like that.

"I was just trying to help," Danny started lamely.

"Well you didn't!" Her voice was incredibly angry. Danny didn't know if he'd ever heard her that angry.

"Do you remember it now?" Jamie tried to ask gently.

"I remember everything," she answered quietly, looking at her blanket. It was just that she couldn't remember any context to anything. It was like waking up from a nightmare, the sights still present but the circumstances gone.

They all looked at each other, and finally Eddie spoke first. "That's good."

Linda's head snapped up, noticing Eddie for the first time.

Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!

The word echoed in her brain. She didn't remember why, but Eddie had definitely called her that. And she hated being called a bitch. It was a word she and Danny were only allowed to say in the expression. "Get out."

Eddie looked around, shifting uncomfortably. "Uh what?"

"Get out," she repeated, her voice low and angry.

"Why don't you—" Eddie started, but Linda screamed at her.

"Get out, get out, get out!" She immediately started to cry.

"Come on, Eddie," Jamie whispered, practically pushing her out.

"You too," Linda growled at Danny.

Offended, he asked, "what about Erin?"

"She stays. Get out."

"Danny," Erin gave him a look and he reluctantly left.

"Can I sit?" Erin asked softly, like she was talking to someone younger. She tried not to make her voice sound condescending; just understanding.

Linda nodded and continued to cry. "How could he do this to me?"

"I'm sure if he knew this would be the outcome, he never would have pressured you to remember."

********

"What happened?" Jamie asked Danny after they were kicked out.

"Baez and I went to question Linda about the car crash. When she couldn't remember, I pushed her. She freaked and tripped, then hit her head."

"And you thought what I did was bad," Eddie commented, scoffing.

Jamie looked at her, "go back to work."

"We need to see how Linda's doing."

"Officer, that's an order from your Sargent. Go back to work."

She scoffed but stood up angrily nonetheless, mumbling something that sounded like cursing.

Jamie sighed and shook his head, "I'm sorry about her, man. She just..." he only shook his head.

"What have I done?" He whispered, shaking his head. "She was making progress— good progress, and I shot it all to hell."

"She said she remembered everything... maybe you didn't shoot anything. She remembers now."

Danny only shook her head, "I didn't know brain damage could happen if I pushed her."

"Erin said trauma."

"Same difference. What's going to happen to her?"

Jamie put a supportive have on Danny's shoulder, "I don't know."

*********

Linda was released two hours later, after a series of tests. She walked to Danny with Erin and the doctor, some of her anger at her husband subsiding. When Erin explained why he pushed, she really couldn't be that mad at him. He was trying to protect her, after all. However, he should've listened to her when she insisted she couldn't remember.

"Hi," Linda said almost meekly.

"Hi," Danny answered back. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged, "I'm not dead."

He looked at her weirdly, a face that said what the hell kinda answer is that?

The doctor told Danny what had happened, and what was going to happen. He nodded along like he understood when he really didn't.

"Will you take me home?" Linda asked once the doctor left and gave her the all clear.

"Yeah," Danny nodded, hesitating to take her hand.

She noticed this, so she grabbed it. "I'm still mad at you."

They began to walk, "I know."

And almost off handedly, she added, "even though you're so hot."

He looked at her for a beat, but her eyes were trained ahead. He guessed it was part of her brain injury.

"You'll have to go back to work, won't you?"

"Yeah. Uh... I can drop you off at Pop's if you like."

She didn't really want that, but she didn't want to be alone either. "Yeah, that sounds good."