Pleasing (H.S)

thirty

Happy women's day <3 

Iris

Emma called Harry daddy last night for the first time ever. He was so excited that he couldn't sleep. His excitement became anxiety rather soon and he asked me about a million questions about parenting. I told him that he is a good father, even though he didn't know that he is one. He ordered a couple of books last night. He wants to read them so he can be perfect. 

He told me about his father last night. I knew the story but it is the first time he talked to me that open about him. Joe, his father, left his mother as soon as Harry was born. He only saw him on Christmas. Joe wasn't there on his birthdays, on his school plays, on his big X factor audition. He was absent. He only remembered his son when his name became known, when he became part of this pop culture and he is going to be written in the future history books. Joe tried to reconcile with Harry, but Harry didn't want that. 

I hold him close to me last night as he left his silent whimpers. He told me that he wants to be there for Emma, that he wants to be the father he never had. Then proceeded to explain to me that after this leg of the tour in Australia he isn't going back on touring. He is going to take a break so he can enjoy his time with us. He asked me to go with him, but before I can answer he told me that I can't put my life and our daughter's life on hold because his job is fucked up. I tried to tell him that I'll do my best to be there for him and that Emma would appreciate that as well. 

The morning found us still cuddling. His head is still on my chest and he is breathing slowly. He has a smile on his face and I think that I know what caused it. 

The door opens wide and a sleepy Emma comes inside. She is holding Mr Bunny on her right hand. I can see that behind her is Oliver, following her and protecting her. He is so gentle with my little human and that makes me love this dog more.  

"Good morning Mumma." She tells me and then she helps herself to get to our bed. 

"Good morning, Ems. We have to be quiet, we don't want daddy to wake up." I tell her and she nods. She lays on Harry's side of the bed and puts her tiny hand in his stomach. She falls asleep faster than ever and I just stay there looking at the two of them. 

They are the most precious people I have in my life and the fact that Harry sees Emma as his own makes me so happy. I wanted them to have a good relationship from the start but I didn't expect that 10 months after I got into that relationship my daughter would feel this safe with Harry to call him her daddy. 

He took our family as it is and made it his own. He didn't look at how damaged we are, he loves us exactly like that. And he says that he's never going to change that. I hope so.

The way he treats Emma has the butterflies in my stomach explode. I hope that we will a baby soon. When I learned that I was pregnant the first time, I made a promise to myself to never have another kid. But now, now I want more. I want Harry to be a father of two, to help me take care of our newborn as he does with our Emma. I want to have more kids with him, because he is the best dad. Even though he didn't use the dad term, he was one from the very start. That's why Emma feels comfortable and calls him Daddy now.

I bet that my sister is going to lose her mind tomorrow. We agreed that we are going to tell them all together on dinner. I hope that Emma doesn't destroy that plan. Tonya will be so excited, she always told me that Harry's a dad and Emma would confirm that soon. She did. She said that name and Harry has been tearing up every time he thinks about it.

Harry starts to move but his movements stop as soon as he opens his eyes and he sees Emma's tiny body cuddling him. "When did little honey come here?" He asks me whispering.