Jodee

Chapter 9 - Dinner

I took a deep breath, my head going farther in my locker so anyone who came down the hallway would not see that I was crying.

My wrist came up and harshly wiped a couple of tears from my eyes.

Come on Jodee, pull it together! I urged myself, trying to stop crying and be okay.

I had to go into the cafeteria soon or my friends would just suspicious because lunch was almost over and it definitely doesn't take that long to talk to a teacher about one bad grade.

But then came the thoughts again - the replay. Everytime I thought I was ready to put on a brave face - my mask and leave this lonely hallway the memories of what just happened came into my mind, dragging me back down.

You look nothing like your brother.

You're too weak to be a Chambers.

You don't live up to the Ace Chambers legacy.

More tears threatened to spill down my face, but I shook my head. I had to stop crying.

I shut my locker and turned around. Hitting my back against the lockers and taking a few deep breaths. I only needed a minute. Just a minute and I'd be fine. I'd be fine. I'm fine. I am fine.

I hesitantly pushed myself off of the lockers and headed for the big cafeteria. I flinched when I opened the doors and the rush of students talking and laughter came to be but nonetheless I pushed my way through the crowd, hair in my face to cover my eyes and over to where my friends were.

I mumbled a quick "hi" before taking a seat next to Ezra who was having a small conversation with Justin but stopped and turned to me when he saw that I had arrived.

"Hey, Jo. Here's some food." Ezra said in his normal cheery voice pushing a tray that was previously across the table over to me.

"Thanks," I said, taking a grape and putting it into my mouth.

"Hey Jodee," Justin called from across the table, gracing me with a small smile before he looked to Ezra, eager to continue on their conversation.

"Hey."

My response was shot and simple. I was aware that my voice sounded super glum right now due to the fact that was sad and scared and had just been crying but right now I just hoped and prayed my friends didn't notice.

"Are you okay, Jo?" Ezra questioned.

Great, he noticed. None of my hopes or prayers ever worked, I should just stop at this point.

He let go of the fork he had been holding to bring his hand to my face and attempted to brush some hair back but I moved away, letting my hair fall back into my face before my friend could see I had been crying.

"I'm fine, Ez." I responded.

"You sure? You seem sad? C'mon Jodee, just tell me." He prompted again, sighing, but not making a move to look into my eyes again.

Ezra was always aware and nice like that. He always knew when pressing too much was too hard and when to back off. Unlike many people in my life. Unlike my brother and his best friend who would press and press and push and push you until you were spilling you guts like a dead animal.

Especially Ace. I don't know if it was because we were siblings or some sort of "big brother magic" but my brother always knew when there was something off about me. And he could always make me tell or find out himself without saying much at all.

"Yeah. M'okay. Mr. Schooler was just a bit harsh about my math test," I lied, trying to come up with a believable story.

"Okay," Ezra sighed, his voice quieter. "Tell me if you need something. I'm always here."