Jodee

Chapter 32 - Panic

Time stands still after Ace's revelation.

"W-what?" I am able to muster out before everything just disappears.

My vision turns cloudy and my head is spinning. It's like someone shoved a cloth in your face, everything is just white with the shadows of the cloth, but you can't get them to take it away, they're smothering you. The colors in the room spin around so fast I become dizzy before everything around me just stops — I can't see, I can't think, I can't hear, I can't breathe. I can't breathe!

In and out, in and out, I tell myself as my chest rises and falls. But it's too fast, everything is happening too fast. My ears are ringing and I can't see a thing. 

What is happening?

Tobias Chambers — the man who has hated me my entire life. He wants custody of me? No. That can't be right. This can't be happening!

My father has hated every fiber in my body for as long as I can remember. As a kid he did everything he could to make me feel like nothing, like I was worth nothing. He drove my mother away, he tried to make my big brother hate me, and ... he hurt me.

From what I can gather my mom and my dad never really had a relationship at all. They just got together every once in a while and had "a good time." Ace's mother and our father were together for a long time, but I wasn't sure what happened to her. My mom and my dad didn't even like each other nonetheless love each other, there relationship (if you could call it that) was purely physical.  

When my mom fell pregnant with a baby she wanted nothing to do with from a man she wanted nothing to do with she up and left. It was great for my dad, because he wanted nothing to do with her or their unborn baby either. But, to get back at him, she left me. She left me. By myself as a helpless newborn baby with an angry man whose only way to get back at her and take out his anger was through me.

"You're a little fucking slut just like your good for nothing mother!" — his words come back to haunt me.

Ace told me that he only ever met my mother twice — once when he caught her leaving his house after our father and her spent a night together doing you know what. The second time was when she dropped a newborn baby on their doorstep with nothing but an angry lecture to an eleven year old who was incredibly confused.

My father knew right away who I was — or rather who I came from — and instantly hated me. He wanted Ace — his only son who continuously disobeyed him — to hate me too and give me a horrible life. My father has always wanted Ace to be the kid who just adores his father and wants to do everything his dad does, not matter the cost. But my brother has always seen right through Tobias, he has morals unlike our father and knew right from wrong. So my brother choose to go against our father on anything he could. 

He was a disappointment to our father, just like I was. And my father blamed me for that. My father hated it. He hated that my brother loved me. 

"Your brother can't fucking protect you forever, princess!"

Tobias Chambers wanted nothing more than to make his only two kids completely hate each other. It was a game for him, trying to get us to ruin each other's lives. To pit each other against one another so that hopefully, in the end, one of us would come out just like our father so he could finally have a kid he wanted again. But we were just kids, just kids.

My brother grew up too quickly, he didn't have any childhood. Ace was never a kid because he wanted me to still be one. Ace sacrificed his childhood so I could have the chance at one.