Today I heard you playing guitar through the walls.
I never saw you play that stupid thing. That stupid thing you spent 8 grand on. I wonder why you started playing it today. Probably not so I could hear it but that's the way that it felt.
Valentine's Day marks the two months that we have not spoken. I don't mean we haven't talked but I do not think a little greeting counts as anything significant. Okay so what we wave, that doesn't mean that we are okay.
Today I was so tempted to go to your door. I'm not so sure why considering I've been doing way better. Considering I've been thinking about you less. But every time I am not doing something I always find myself right where I was.
But do I really want you. Do I really need you. Do I really think that we could be together and it would mean anything at all.
No I don't think so. So what I want you, where would that lead me other than hell.
I think the reason why I'm trying to dislike you so much is because you remind me a little too much of myself. The way you have a lack of compassion and empathy for people at times. And by at times I really mean all the time. The way you have no control over your emotions, specifically anger. And the way you're so very toxic.
Dating myself is not something I need.
When you asked me what I look for in people, how do I choose them, I lied. I told you stability. And unlike before I changed my answer. When you asked mental stability I simply said no. And that I looked for something that was good for me.
Is that why you never made a move, because you know that is not what you would have wanted to give me.
Mind blowing. I hate you.
YOU ARE READING
A final goodbye
Romancethis is a record of some of my conflicting feelings I've been having about this guy I have been a little too into. ill update if I continue to have interactions after I already stopped talking to him. my unspoken failed rizz.
